The Miami Dolphins dropped Chad Ochocinco because he headbutted his wife, Evelyn Lozada. Wow! Really? We understand that this was not the right thing to do, but the man plays football, which is a very violent and physical sport. So why drop a man for doing something that may have come as a result of his competitive nature, and as a natural reaction to frustration?
We want to be clear that we do not condone Ocho headbutting Evelyn. But should the man lose his career and his ability to take care of his family over a headbutt? Since when do we live in a perfect world with perfect people? Is there no forgiveness? Or is there only punishment?
It amazes me how people can be so judgmental of another man’s relationship, as if they have never had an argument or a schoolyard fight in their entire life. As if they have never done anything they regretted. Who are these unrealistic people that run our world? They tell us to go to church on Sunday but then declare war on Iraq on Monday. We live in the most hypocritical society on planet Earth.
However, I believe Chad made several mistakes in his relationship. If you’re going to get married, be married. Do not send your wife out looking for other women, trying to do threesomes and foursomes. If this is your desire, just be single and don’t get married. I believe that although Chad is a superstar football player, he lacks experience in truly dealing with and understanding women. He can attract them, but managing and keeping them is a whole different ballgame.
Women are the most complicated creatures on planet Earth. They can shape-shift on you in a moment’s notice, because they are emotionally-driven beings. Logic goes out the door when they are pissed off. So when you decide to get married, it will be hard enough to keep your wife happy, much less two, three or four other women.
Keep your business and your pleasure separate. This means that your wife stays the golden girl, the one you hold up on a pedestal. You do not mix promiscuous women with the wives. This is bad business. Any woman willing to have a threesome with a married couple is likely a ho.
Hoes will ruin your wife. It is the equivalent of sticking one bad apple (in this case, a ho) in a barrel. It will ruin the entire bunch: “Girl, you found those condoms in the car. What are you going to do? You know your man is having sex with somebody else.”
The promiscuous woman’s motive is to plant seeds of doubt and insecurity to eventually screw up the relationship and get the wife out of the picture so that the promiscuous woman can have a clear path to the throne–or better yet, so that the wife can be a miserable ho, just like her. The wife can be a dummy and listen to the promiscuous woman if she wants, but she does not have the wife’s best interest in mind.
So Ochocinco lost his contract, reality show, etc. He is now unemployed, all because of some condoms and a headbutt. We all know that sex with a woman other than your wife is not worth that. Looking back on it, I am sure that both of them realize they could have used a different method to handle their differences. It was certainly not worth what they lost. We are sure that Evelyn feels the outcome was not worth approaching the situation the way she did, and that Ocho feels the outcome was not worth the response he gave his wife.
We are all learning every day about this thing called relationships. None of us are born experts. We are all going to make mistakes. Arguments, unfortunately, are a part of relationships. But these days, you have more and more clashes, because women feel that they are as strong as men and no longer want to sit back and be the helpmate.
As men, we think in term of positions: “Hey, baby, I am the quarterback and you are my wide receiver.” If the wide receiver is arguing with the quarterback, what do you think the chances of them winning the game are? If the wide receiver is trying to play the quarterback position, how many games do you think they are going to win with this role confusion?
I believe a lot of the violent conflicts nowadays, especially among celebrities, are due to the ever-growing strength of women and the fact that roles are being reversed and confused. You cannot have your cake and eat it, too. Either you are the wife, who is traditionally the helpmate, or you are the man, who is traditionally the head of the household. If you do not want to play these traditional roles, then you should have a very clear conversation with the man of your dreams before entering into a committed relationship. Anything that goes against tradition should be discussed in detail so that you and the MOYD are on the same page and there is no role confusion. Essentially, you are challenging his manhood when you challenge him. This is something you do not want to do without giving him proper notice.
The most important point for a woman to learn is that when you are dealing with a fiery man, you meet fire with water, not gasoline. You meet fire with love and calmness. If you have an issue, speak to the MOYD about it. But please remember, it is the way you speak to him that will make a difference in his response. If you know your man has a short temper, then approach him on a full stomach, very calmly. Never get excited while stating your point. Even if he gets excited, you must always stay calm. Getting excited will only cause him to grow more angry. If you know your man is the type to blow up, you must mentally prepare yourself before you address a major issue. You must be in a true state of calmness, because this is the only way to defuse an angry man and get your point across.
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Dear Simon,
Did you know that Halle Berry is pregnant again? Do you think Halle Berry being pregnant without being married is a step in the right direction or the wrong direction?