Having friends of the opposite sex is a great way to have a well-rounded life and viewpoint. Unfortunately, not all men are good friends, and many men may be friendly to women for reasons you may or may not be aware of.
Most males we know have few female friends that they don’t also have a crush on or wouldn’t mind sleeping with. If you have a male friend who harbors feelings for you currently or in the past, can you really trust the advice he may give you about your relationships?
The answer is no. You should not trust your best guy friends with any decisions regarding your current partner. Trust us. We, as men, often use our friendship with a woman to edge her away from her current relationship, because we’re sexually interested in her.
It is natural for a competitive male to want to be the alpha male in a woman’s life that he is attracted to or admires. Most women may not even be aware of this attraction, as guys will hide it in order to keep communication going. But when given the chance, they will inject their feelings for you in their advice. Asking them to stick up for your boyfriend or husband is probably not going to happen. What usually happens is that your male friend will side with you, falsely building your confidence in him and undermining your boyfriend or husband.
If you have male friends who you’ve flirted with in the past, however innocently, you can’t honestly believe they will give you good advice about having a successful relationship with another man. Even if you haven’t flirted or given any signs that you are interested in your male friends, they may and usually do misinterpret polite smiles or gestures as something more. Even if you think your male friend is totally not your type or even ugly, he probably views you in the exact opposite way.
Those are two major risks you encounter when you trust a male friend with your most intimate secrets or problems in your current relationship. Even if your male friend is gay and not sexually interested in you at all, he may still want to protect you and view your side of the story as the right side. He will never give you the total perspective you deserve to have. You’ll need that total, unbiased perspective in order to deal with whatever situation you’re in with your current boyfriend or husband in order to give your current relationship a fair chance at success.
Plus, think how you would feel if your husband were investing his time and emotions sharing intimate details about your relationship with him with another woman who could possibly be interested in him. Would you feel as if she were looking out for your relationship’s best interest or would you feel like she’s manipulating him for her own desires?
That is exactly how your boyfriend or husband will feel once he finds out you have been confiding in another man who may not have both of your interests in mind. This is also true about the advice you may get from your girlfriends as well. You never know if they are jealous of your relationship, have a crush on your man, or even on you.