Why African American Men Date Out of Their Race The Solution

Bride and Groom on Their Wedding DayContinued from Part 1

The Bible is really a scientific manuscript for keeping your vibrations high. In other words it is equivalent to a living mathematical equation without having to physically do the math problem. It appears clear that God already knew many of us would not want to calculate the equations necessary for successful relationships, so he embedded the formulas for success in stories and parables in the Bible so we only have to follow the steps.

How easy is that? Maybe not so easy…

The problem many African American women have had to face with their increased success in education and the work force is often raising their families as mothers involve a disproportionate number of African American men being mentally and physically unavailable due to high incarceration rates, high unemployment, addictions to drugs and alcohol and a lack of education. (12 Ways To Help the Man of Your Dreams Get Over a Drug or Alcohol Addiction) A system certainly designed with the same intent and formula the serpent used to divide Adam and Eve from the divine creator, to get the exact results desired, pushing the black woman further away from the black man and the creator in ways she may not even realize. (Understanding How To Show Yourself Self Approved – Stand By the Man of Your Dreams) Nothing has changed; Satan’s game is still the same.

For example, when a black woman receives assistance on Section 8 Housing Program, she is not legally allowed for her man or father of her children to live with her. So if the father of her children is living with her, she has to conceal it from the government and deceive her children or lose her benefits. Satan already understands the underlying negative energy and deceit created, and his plan works perfectly. It is his system that created the manipulations, high employment, supplies a constant supply of drugs and alcohol, while at the same time miseducating the public. In this one instance she lives a double negative; First, she relies on the government as her savior and deceives the very entity she relies on for support. Second, she now effeminates the father and children. She unknowingly steals the father’s masculine virility, the problem, and the exact opposite of the solution needed for him and her to become successful mentally and spiritually. Unless the error is recognized and corrected, the same failed mistakes will only repeat themselves. Satan already knew this would be the case, there are no free lunches. (Why the Concept of Free Does Not Exist in a Successful Relationship)

God gave the woman and man specific instructions on how to overcome these pitfalls and he also gave consequences if we failed to obey. The solution to solving the problem of why black men date out of their race lies in God’s word. In order to solve the problem, the black woman has to go back to her feminine roots to win her black man back. She must also use this same formula to help regain his consciousness to become successful. He is nothing without her support. (Genesis 3:16)

The woman was deceived by Satan from the beginning and is being deceived now through false idols to include but not limited to money or fiat currency, luxury cars, homes, jewelry, job security, etc. She loves the material possessions of the world more than God who blessed her with these very gifts. (1 John 2:15-16)

How would the black woman define her role in the community/family if these material possessions were not available? In order to received God’s blessings, she has to return to God’s word and follow the instructions or she will forever continue to received the curses instead of the blessings of companionship. This advice goes vice versa.

The problem is the black woman has failed to remember her true feminine nature through her greatly increased independence and responsibilities to support her family and by design goes against the success of the family structure, her masculinity infringes on her man. When a woman becomes to masculine she in fact consumes a man’s masculine virility making him effeminate and ineffective. (John Baines: Science of Love) As a result that man becomes more like a woman and her strengths become his weaknesses. Ladies to be more feminine is the key to building up your attraction and finding and keeping the Man of Your Dream (MOYD). God’s word says a woman should be a helpmate and bare children, but today women desire to be the Bosses, CEO’s and manager’s. (Should Women be Barefoot, Pregnant & In the Kitchen?)

In the Good News Translation of the Holy Bible with the Deuteracanonicals/Apocrypha, In the Book of SIRACH or Ecclesiastics, it states, “when a man is supported by a Wife, there is sure to be anger, arrogance, and humiliation.” To be feminine and supportive of the MOYD is not weakness, but strength and obedience to God’s word.

African American black women have been unknowingly compelled ahead of their counterparts in the fields of education, employment, finances, etc., to further break down the family structure. Satan hates God’s word and knows it better than we do. He plots against it day and night looking to kill and destroy relationships, especially of those who love God. He provides opportunities to those he chooses and those who subsequently accept his oath through his World system. The same system he offered to give Jesus if he would only kneel and worship him. (Matthew 4:1-11) Satan now tempts and pimps women through material possessions and pride, just as he did Eve in the Garden of Eden. (Genesis 3:1-6) Consequently the African American black woman, labeled America’s #1 consumer, steals from the man she desires through her own personal desires for material possessions. When dating or married to a strong man this will create a conflict between the positive and negative poles of masculine and feminine energy (What is the Proper Role of a Man in a Relationship?). In order for men and women to reach true love, a man most remain fully masculine and a woman must remain fully feminine. Many black women have unfortunately due to the challenges faced in society and material desires have become to masculine and only through following God’s word will they fully recover their lost blessings and lift the curses off of themselves, the black man and the children.

The Black woman must remember that although they are propelled forward in society, often without the black man, they should adopt the motto of the U.S. Armed Services, “leave no man behind.”

So what does it mean in our modern day society to leave no man behind? Watch BBC Video: Planet Earth/Emperor Penguins, to see what God intended for Men and Women without man’s modern influence. Sometimes to understand our mistakes we have to go back to the basics.

Here is my summary on the BBC video Planet Earth/Emperor Penguins;

Humans have totally forgotten how to come together as one to support each other as a family. The male emperor penguins who banded together were amazing and by sticking together created a more successful chance of surviving the cold winter as oppose to the Lone Polar bear working by himself. (Ecclesiastes 4:9-12) The Polar bear starved to death unnecessarily when food was so close. But the group of Penguins by working together as one group survived what would have otherwise been unbearable temperatures in the Arctic winter if they had to do it alone. In this relational role it was the male penguin’s job to keep the eggs warm and protected while it was the female penguin’s role to travel hundreds of miles to the ocean to get food. If the female Penguins would not have returned all would have been lost, males and babies and what a tragedy it have been. But thankfully our hearts were not broken in tragedy, but celebrated and rejoiced in the return of the female penguins. What a beautiful sight was it to see, the trail of female penguins coming over the horizon with food for their mates who had not eaten in four months was amazing. Each male and female penguin gladly accepted their perspective roles that were bestowed upon them. Isn’t that what’s needed in the Black community today?

In our modern day era, women need men to have children, but many feel it is perfectly ok to raise a child as a single parent. (Understanding the Abusive Behavior of Despicable Moms) This behavior is not the will of God and goes against nature. Our society is very sick and once again Satan strikes. We are failing our families, we are failing our children, because both men and women fail to accept their perspective roles and responsibilities and most importantly we have failed to support and love one another, thus failing to follow and obey God’s word. It is no different from losing a finger,toe, arm or limb, etc. Our strength is in togetherness and our weakness is in separation. (Galatians 5: 14) Quite simply, a failure to follow God’s word.





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  1. Hello, I just wanted to make a comment on your article. There’s a lot I can say I agreed with and some I didn’t. And that’s okay, we all have opinions and those are based upon our experiences. Your experience matters. I googled “why do black men prefer to date outside their race” and I clicked on your link. I appreciate you putting your P.O.V. in cyberspace as I believe there’s something to learn from everyone. And I did learn how at least one black King feels. I like when our men are open. It takes a lot of courage to put your thoughts out there. The one thing that I couldn’t get past was when you mentioned the rare, or good black woman wasn’t worth searching for that it would just be easier to pick from that “20” of the other races of ladies. That hurts. A lot. I get where you were going with it and how its just a numbers thing sentiment that was your basis for why those who elect to choose other races of women, but that makes the good black woman feel like we aren’t worth your(black man) time. It’s like that sentence of the article was like oh well to them. I would think the perceived rarity of a true, feminine black goddess who values, respects, and appreciates a man would be a wonderful human worth pursuing. Not in a she’s sitting on a pedestal filled with ego, shooting brothers down left and right either, no way. A she’s special, vulnerable, intriguing, and she cares about herself and doesn’t treat men badly type of way. I, personally, prefer being the queen of a black king. No other reason than preference. I prefered black men because MOST I knew are amazing people. They are pleasant, intelligent, very strong, naturally kind-hearted, and very attractive. It seems that on the flip, the men don’t feel the same about us though…eye-opening. I didn’t realize the disgust some black men have towards women who look like their moms, aunts, sisters, and grannies. I must say, I cried reading parts because it felt like a black woman represents everything a black man wants to get away from(poverty, struggle, ignorance, pain). I bet it took a lot of hurtful ways by some hurt black women for a man to get to that point though I’m sure. I can only speak and apologize for my actions in life and I have never treated a man of any color badly, but I truly hate if any man reading this was made to feel inferior, or was hurt by a black woman. We need each other and bashing one another solves nothing. If a man finds his queen for whatever reason outside his race, great for him, love and relationships are tough and require a dedication no matter a race. I just, I guess I wanted to at least raise my hand so you guys can see that there are women, black ones, that are beyond their circumstances, are genuinely happy and love to smile, that don’t care about trivial, materialistic things, that are that quintessential fun and sassy, a little sweet a little sexy, but submissive, faithful, spiritual, ethereal and solidly believe in wealth acquisition and being financially savvy. The total black goddess exists. I strive at it daily. I literally take classes with women of all nationalities across the globe, meditate, pray, study femininity and treat men with the respect just their presence commands. I am no way perfect, but I try my best and that’s all I can do. Unfortunately, yes, many of my fellow sisters have lost our way or never have known the way to treat a man. The reasons span, but I respectfully request that you not give up on us and toss us away as a whole in your mind. Black women have been through a lot in this country, only my brothers can understand. But, you are right, it is time we heal those old wounds, reclaim our roles, support our kings, unify our relationships, and be the Nubian queens we were born as. Thank you for reading, and best wishes to you and your family.


    • Gwenna Hunter says:

      Kris, thank you for your heartfelt response. I sincerely apologize for making you cry but i have to keep it real for any awareness and healing to to take place.

      The one line you commented on regarding the black woman not being worth our time was simply a reflection of us looking in a thousand places, like one does when looking through a treasure hunt. Why go through a treasure hunt when you can simply, and easily look behind door number 2? Does it make sense for a man to spend all of his time looking for a good woman just because of her color or does it make more sense for the woman of color to become truly attractive unselfish, and caring, as opposed to being materialistic. What happened to the black woman? Don’t blame it on society. Society gives you a choice to take drugs or not to take drugs but its your choice.

      Just because society programs you to be material minded doesn’t mean you have to be. You make the choice. Black women really have to wake up or they will find themselves by themselves. How do you think we got introduced to other races?

      You know the old saying’ you don’t appreciate what you’ve got til it’s gone. I already know what most women’s response will be.which is we can say the same thing for the black man vs versus. However this is not a competition and were not saying this to be competitive. This is one of the problems. You don’t compete against your man, you work with your man. This is something numerous black women have forgotten. 2 people cannot drive the same car simultaneously. 2 people cannot run the relationship. There is an order to everything. This is the problem. Stop competing against your man. Love your man, give him a hand up when your on top. Not a hand down. Don’t look down on him, help him up.

      The greatest rule of the universe is to love your brother and sister as you would love yourself.

      I want to thank you so much for taking the time to share. We sincerely appreciate it and wish you the best in finding love this year.


      • What happened to the Black woman? The Black woman needs to wake up? This very mindset and this article displays the damage of what chattel slavery has done to Blacks. It’s really sad. In the world of Black psychology, when Black men prefer non-Black women it is called “the african queen syndrome”. We as a race are emotionally and mentally damaged because of past chattel slavery and Jim Crow and the Black codes. The damage extends to our very DNA. Black men and women that prefer non-Blacks are nothing more than self-haters with an inferior complex coupled with a lack of knowledge of who they are

        • Jared Kennedy says:

          I did not totally understand the full point of your reply, however many African American women are simply purchased in today’s market by the highest corporate bidder over their moral conscious. Money in and morals and their African American brothers out. Then at the end of the day they cry “their are no African American men to date or marry, they all have gone astray…Lord please forgive me, bring me a man, any man will due”…

  2. Duzaboch says:

    The number one reason men aren’t attracted to women is … “she is better then me / doesn’t need me, more successful then me”. Black women are the only race far exceeding their men in education and success. As a hole they are very loyal… as the matriarch of a matriarchal society, ( white society is patriarchal) the black woman is forced to look outward to find her equal. Unfortunately societal pressures hurt her as they do women more then men. But the mixed couple with the highest divorce rate is (bm & ww). The couple with the lowest divorce rate… ( Wm & bw). And it is only ego that makes black men feel like white women are a better choice. White women have an agenda to dating a man. Wether it is to piss someone off or they want to bring in a better son in law then their sister or or their friends want to sleep with a guy. The relationship has very little to do with her opinion of a man. Unfortunately for black women many of the top of the food chain white men who are interested in them don’t yet have the courage to make the move. Eventually they will. Eventually they will realize it wasn’t a matter of not being able to get a white women… it was that he chose not too.

    • Jared Kennedy says:

      Interesting comment, but honestly you were all over the place and it was difficult to understand your exact point. It would help to know if you are writing from a Black woman’s view point, or a white woman’s or other… thank you for sharing.

  3. Kamaria Price says:

    As a single Black woman, I would have to say thanks for being brave enough to write about such a sensitive topic in our community.
    I think there were truths to both articles you wrote, and generalizations as well. It sounds like the biggest divisions between Black men and women are lack of quality communication, support, empathy, love, and fear of rejection and hurt. And the tired adages of, “All Black men are…” or “All Black women are….”
    I was raised to believe interracial dating was wrong. At a young age my mother spoke of that topic more often than getting married to a human that values you…I didn’t understand it at the time, but my mother felt hurt more than anything by the men who did it. It just manifested into bitterness and anger.
    Who we are as women are products of the Black women who raised us…
    And I try to break the cycle of the hurt everytime I see a Black man with his White, Asian, or Hispanic prize. I certainly do ask myself why I wasn’t good enough to be worthy in their eyes.
    But at the end of the day, what matters most is how I see myself. I do love myself, but I have to work more on appreciating the awesome person I am. And I have to see past my hurt and realize that…a man has the right to love whomever he chooses. And so do we as Black women.
    I will be teaching 6th grade Black boys and girls this school year, and will teach them the truth…respect everyone and love whomever you desire. I will teach them about self-love and acceptance. I don’t want them to carry the pain I have felt. It’s too heavy of a burden.
    I will do my best to break the cycle of hurt and pain, one child at a time.

    • Jared Kennedy says:

      hi Kamaria, once upon a time I was that black man seeking my black queen, but unfortunately we are often not noticed until we are with someone else from another race. It’s a case of not good enough until it’s gone. I do also understand your pain, but the solution as was given is to open your eyes and the eyes of every black woman and instead of saying you don’t need a man, say “we love and need our black men”. Appreciation goes a long ways. Thank you for sharing your thoughts.

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