What Do You Do If You Are In A Relationship But Someone Better Comes Along?

Elegant couple passing in classic clothes.Okay, here is the scenario. You have been with your man for the past couple of years and right now your relationship is on the teeter-totter. It’s not good and it’s not bad; it’s at a stalemate. (10 Tips to Keep Your Relationship Out of The Tolerance Zone) You work at a private airport and a rich, successful, very attractive businessman walks in off his private jet and takes an interest in you. You, of course, are very flattered, and are currently barely getting by on your income. What do you do? Do you accept the invitation to go out to dinner, or do you opt to be a good girl, pass up what could potentially be the opportunity of a lifetime and hold steady in your current relationship?

This is a real scenario, and when I was first presented with it, I was like, jeez, this is a tough one. So I told the young lady to let me think about the question for a moment and come back with an answer a few hours later.

As I put myself in this young woman’s shoes, I thought, hmm, of course you really hate to miss out on the opportunity of a lifetime, as opposed to sticking with a relationship that is already on the decline and potentially doomed to failure. You and your current boyfriend are moving further apart instead of closer together, or perhaps the relationship has reached its peak and now you are just going through the motions. As I listened to this young lady, in a way I felt bad for her, because I knew what it must have been like for her to agonize herself in thought over such an opportunity, which may never come her way again. How much time did Cinderella have before her dreams came crashing down? However, as I dug beneath the surface, I came up with an answer.

But first, I would like you to take a moment to seriously think about what you would do if you were faced with the same temptation. Let’s think through the scenario together. The young lady, of course, was torn about going out on this date. In fact, she had not even told this new gentleman that she was in a relationship. She even called her mom for advice. Because of his status and his sudden interest, it really caught her by surprise. She was so shocked that she was now afraid to tell him the truth, because he might immediately lose interest. This is very possible and scary!

But here is the reality of the situation. Let’s go inside the mind of a normal-to-above-average man. It can be assumed that this rich, successful, attractive businessman meets beautiful women from time to time as he is traveling from place to place. He is obviously not shy, as he approached you and made his request. He already knows that you know he is loaded with money, because you just witnessed him exiting his private jet, and, folks, those are not cheap. A man with money understands its power to attract and uses it to his advantage, kind of like going fishing. The money is the bait and you are the catch. So he gets off the plane, sees you and finds you attractive. The question is, what does he see that makes him want to investigate and get to know you better? What really lies behind the invitation, considering that he doesn’t know that not only do you have a boyfriend, you live with him?

Now ask yourself the $98,000 question: What do all men really want, whether they be rich or poor, when they first meet a beautiful woman? Is your answer, “They want to get to know you better?” Let’s be really specific here. Which part of you would you say a man wants to get to know better? Your brain, your body or both?

Eight out of 10 men, when they meet a beautiful woman, want to conquer her physically. Why? It’s what they see first. You could be the smartest woman on the planet, but it’s that red dress and those high heels that really get his attention. It’s the truth, whether you acknowledge it or not. Yes, one man may approach you aggressively and another passively, but at the end of the day, they all desire to end up between your pretty legs. It’s just the nature of the beast.

If you say yes to the request to go out to dinner with the rich, successful businessman when you are still in a relationship with your boyfriend, you are doomed to fail. If you go out with the rich guy but fail to disclose that you are in a relationship, you are doomed to fail. If the rich guy finds out you are in a relationship, you will never be taken seriously beyond a sexual fling, and be doomed to fail because he knows that you cannot be trusted. Also, you have to ask yourself: Why is he rich, successful, attractive and still single? Or is he single at all?

Remember, the goal of a man is to conquer you, whether he be rich or poor. It’s just that the more money a man has, the more power he has to tempt you. Much like fishing, he throws the bait to see if he can catch something: you. But your job is to avoid getting caught and turn the tables, making him the catch of the day. The only way to do this is to have a fixed set of morals and be completely honest and upfront: “Drake, I am flattered by your compliment and desire to take me out; however, I am in a relationship which, although a little rocky, is not quite over.” What have you done by disclosing this information?  You have now temporarily neutralized all of Drake’s advantages, especially the fact that he is rich, because now he knows he cannot buy you like most women he meets. Instead, he has no choice but to respect you. You have now officially passed Test No. 1. And if you ever do become single and give him a call, he will remember you for being that one upfront and honest woman who did not fall for the bait. You will be in a class by yourself.

So as tempting as the invitation sounded, I advised this young woman against taking the bait. I told her to tell the rich, attractive businessman: “Thank you for the invite, but I am in a relationship. However, in the event I do become single, because my relationship is on the teeter-totter, I will take your business card and contact you. If you are still interested in seeing me at that point, then I would love to get to know you better.”

Learning the lesson is always more important, because winners are built by experiences, whether good or bad. You can now take this lesson and create a more successful future with the Man of Your Dreams.


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  1. glassawata says:

    This is truly brilliant. I love the answer you came up with, although I do have one qualm: You say that you would tell Drake that you’re in a relationship mainly because you want him to respect you and trust you in a potential relationship, and I agree with that idea. But what about the whole “I’ll take your business card anyway because my relationship is on teeter totter” thing? That statement shows Drake that when things get bad you start storing guys in your contacts practically anticipating and even preparing for a breakup that might not even happen. I think a girl would be much better off just expressing her delight in his interest, and telling him she cannot partake because she is committed to a relationship. Just my two cents

    • Jared Kennedy says:

      Well I cannot disagree with your response, but their also is nothing wrong with being polite and courteous, and politically correct. Meaning this man is doing business with your Boss/owner of the Fixed Based Operation service (FBO) for Private Jet Service. Meaning quite simply, you would prefer his jet to pull up to your business as oppose to someone else’s. The last thing you want to do is offend a man who is use to getting everything he wants and supporting your the business where you work, And, if you come off as too rude it could jeopardize the business relationship and leaving a bad taste in his mouth next time he will not pull his jet up to your FBO. Now we have 10 cents …

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