As I was out networking, I happened to meet a lady of 26 years on the planet, Nicky, who explained to me after I gave her a business card that she had just broken up with her man three weeks ago after having caught him cheating on her with his girl cousin …. Huh ?
Nicky and her boyfriend celebrated their seven year anniversary with a vacation in San Francisco, but there, in that very hotel room, Nicky caught her boyfriend on his knees in the bathroom floor with his girl cousin half naked with pants down and boobs out of the wife beater. As if that weren’t enough, he had been going to propose to Nicky the next day and even had her engagement ring in his pocket. The question I have is, was that ring for Nicky or for the boyfriend’s cousin? And how long has this been going on – for a generation?
Here’s how Nicky tells her story:
My ex-boyfriend was the type of guy who finds thrill in mischievous acts. (Understanding If You Can Change A Bad Boy Into the Man of Your Dreams (MOYD)?) He cheated when I was nineteen; now I am 26. He was always the type to be in trouble, but I thought I could change him. But I now realize I cannot change a bad boy into a good man.
Here’s how it happened: I was asleep and something, maybe spirit, woke me up the moment he went to the bathroom and closed the door. I followed and opened the door and there he was, that quick, on his knees and cousin half naked. I could not believe what my eyes were seeing. They went hollow. Many who heard this story says I should have kicked his and her you know what that night, but honestly, when you witness something so unbelievable and shocking, it’s as if you aren’t even present. I was kind of having an out-of-body experience, I was so shocked. I just started backing up to where I was almost about to fall out of the hotel window. He was trying to come up to me and calm me down, but all I could do is gag from the disgust and say get away from me and don’t touch me.
At that moment I felt so many disruptive emotions, from disgust, sickness, and betrayal, much as though someone came in and took your soul and hung it from a string. I tried to leave, but he would not let me; he convinced me to stay until the morning. I slept huddled in the corner of the bed. Every time I thought he was asleep I ran for the door, but he awoke and beat me to it. In the morning when we left the hotel I bolted to the taxi.
Although I had been with him for seven years, I felt scarred and displaced. I was also scarred because the news of incestuous sexual relations would have damaged his reputation and family name in the community, which made me even more fearful that harm could come to me as a result. His response was that he would never hurt me. He tried to explain that the only reason he was only on his knees was because his cousin had thought her boyfriend was gay on the DL and gave her an STD, telling me that he was checking her medically.
Hmmm…was I born yesterday, what do you think? Don’t forget, half her boobs were out, too. What should Nicky do? What would you have done? Please share at the end of this article. We are curious.
Here’s what I think: the fact that he was on his knees with her pants down and boobs halfway out of the shirt while Nicky was sleeping sure does not look good. STD? Well, if he was actually playing doctor and the cousin was playing the patient role. If it were innocent, Nicky’s spirit would have had a different reaction, but her sense of such great shock implies that the behavior was both inappropriate and way out of line. As a man, I do not agree with the ex-bf’s explanation, but concur with Nicky’s observations and conclusion. (Understanding Why Men Cheat and How To Prevent It)
Nicky finished by saying that the next morning, as soon as they checked out of the hotel, she bolted for the taxi and tried to tell the driver to not let the bf sit with her in the car, but the driver did not listen, so when she got to the airport, she changed her flight and went home. She hasn’t spoken to him since.
What does amaze me is how a woman can get so mad that she can end a seven year relationship so completely on the drop of a dime (or, you know, pants). But maybe the relationship was already over before this incident, which became the excuse and climax that Nicky needed in order to do what she had known in her heart and mind that she needed to do?
For the next week, Nicky says she was in shock and her body went through bad withdrawals like she was a ghost; at night, her body was shaking. This beautiful lady says she still cries here and there, but also feels enlightened, like a new woman. I wonder if she ever really loved him, or just the idea of him? Many women, especially after 30, can fall fast in love with the idea and security of a marriage more so than the particular man. (Dating and the Desperate 30’s)
Interestingly enough, after digging deeper into Nicky’s ear a little bit more I found that for weeks something had been trying to tell her “not now, and not him.” Ladies, that something is what I called the spirit of God who lives within. We often unknowingly through our thoughts create the outcome we secretly desire although it may not come out the way we would expect. However, the universe always delivers. Maybe a drastic situation is what Nicky or you out there need to force you to turn away from a man you know, in your heart of hearts, that you should not have been with in the first place. (10 and ½ Signs a Woman or Man Should Exit the Relationship) What should Nicky do? What would you have done?