I have had numerous sexual experiences over the years and can say that each time you have sex with a woman, it is the equivalent of entering a new, unknown universe. (In reality, our bodies and behaviors are much like those of the earth on which we live. Our bodies are 75% water and 25% mass, just as the earth, and much like the Big Bang theory of creation, every time a man and a woman orgasm simultaneously, it’s a little like that Big Bang: explosions, the creation of life.) You are never going to get quite the same experience; some will be quite exciting, and others will be flat out boring.
Which are you?
How would you know?
I can certainly tell you this, if a man considers sex with you boring, you are a prime candidate to be cheated on (All Vaginas Are Not Sexually Pleasing to the Male Species As Assumed). All sex is not good, just as all genitals are not as appealing as their owners may think.
Ladies, there is a difference, so please listen up if you want your man to always be excited about you. Now, let’s go see the difference between an exciting sexual experience and a boring one.
But before we go there, let’s get the big presumption out of the way: not all sex is good. Amazingly, many women may have had lots of sex without ever having become good lovers.
If you don’t yet have the experience to know the difference, live through mine.
What does it mean to have an exciting sexual experience?
A man sees you standing across the room in that magnificent body-fitting black dress, seemingly designed just for you, and of course you attract multiple men who want to know you just a little bit better. But let’s just say for this scenario I am the lucky guy you choose. Yeah!
“Hi Suzy, my name is Jeff and I could not help but notice you from way across the room. Can I buy you glass of wine, juice, water… over conversation?” Suzy accepts the invite, and the glass of wine turns into dinner and several other meetings, and three weeks later, the sexual energy between the two of us is so strong that we mutually satisfy each other’s animal urges. Was it worth the wait? In this case, yes, it was.
When I entered Suzy, her response was instant and immediate; I was met with deep moans, and immediately, I knew this was going to be a good experience. Suzy was extremely verbal and not afraid to express herself, like I’m thinking, “Can somebody get me a pillow please, this girl is going to wake up and arouse the whole neighborhood!”
It’s really funny when you think about it; you know when somebody, like your roommate, is having a wonderful sexual experience because you can hear the satisfaction all throughout the house. In fact, your body is aroused by the sound like your tastebuds are aroused by the smell of freshly baking chocolate chip cookies. There is absolutely no need to put that glass to the wall to listen! There is no doubt in anybody’s mind what is happening behind those walls and all you can do is smile and laugh and go make some phone calls. “I am not going to let my roommate have all of the fun – it’s time to pay him back for his hearty performance!”
Now take the same scenario in reverse. Your roommate goes in his bedroom to have sex, in fact he gives you that roommate wink, like “yes, it’s going down!” (Yes, guys do this, although you may not know). You listen, and hear absolutely nothing: no sound, no moans or groans, no sound, what? Can I say whack? Your roommate comes out of his room disappointed, no smile, and takes her home, and of course when he comes back, you ask what happened. “Did you two even have sex?” And he’s like yeah, but with that look on his face that says he really doesn’t want to take about it. You and he both know the sex was whack (How Do You Know If You Have the Bomb-Dot-com Vajajay?).
Ladies, sound and verbal communiqué play a huge part in whether the sex will be good for a man or not. Sound is a huge turn-on. If you are one of those silent girls who likes to keep all of her emotions to herself, not cool. But if you are a lady who lets her emotions be known to almost the point of embarrassment, great – the louder the better (Why Do Women Scream (Yell) During Sex)!
Verbal communication ensures that you’re both getting what you need and lets you both know when you’re doing what works for your partner. Most importantly, it lets men know that we are at least coming close to satisfying your sexual needs! Unfortunately for you and fortunately for most men, we feel this is not something a woman can really fake. Either you’re the verbal type, or you’re not. This is that moment when a beautiful woman is open and vulnerable, not hiding anything behind clothing or makeup or fake hair or boobs…yes, we love this moment because it is just you and me, baby!
So not only is Suzy verbal, but she lets you know when she is about to have an orgasm. Wonderful!
Ladies, as a general rule, men do not like to play guessing games when we are having sex with you. We want to know when we are satisfying you. We suspect and hope you are having a good time, but share that experience with us!
Suzy and I pulled all of the sheets off the bed – well, at least Suzy pulled all the sheets off the bed in pure ecstasy. You know how it is, when the sex is so good that not only are you pulling the sheets off the bed, all hot and sweaty, you are trying to escape and be caught at the same time, pulling your hair, my hair, scratching my back: “let go, ouch!” The scratches are ok, though. We bear the pain because we just know that you are communicating how good of a job we are doing in satisfying you. As men, we love to know we are doing a great job – but no raggedy nails if you’re scratching my back (What Does a Man Consider Proper Hygiene for the Woman He is Dating?) !
Now on the other hand, a woman who just lies there showing little to no emotion makes a man wonder, am I getting the job done or not? He is not experiencing the normal emotional cues that often serve to let him know he is satisfying you. This is not good and the woman in this position is a prime candidate to be cheated on (Understanding the Big 9 Reasons Men Cheat on Beautiful Women);
1. Because your man does not know if he is satisfying you.
2. And because he does not know during sex he does not feel satisfied himself.
“Hmmm, let me go find someone who feels satisfied with my efforts. This must not be right.”
Lastly is your participation or lack thereof. Some women are amazingly attentive, verbal, passionate and physical, meaning they fully participate in the sexual experience. They don’t leave you guessing; you know it was a stellar performance. My motto is if you’re going to do it, always give a 150% effort, or else what’s the point?
Let’s expound upon full participation: this means that I am not doing all of the pumping, kissing, licking, eating, sucking… that makes sex a shared experience. You can give pleasure, too (Oral Sex 101; What You Need to Know)
Ladies, always remember this about men: we will darn near do anything once or perhaps twice, but your greatest challenge in your relationship will be keeping your man excited about you (What is the Secret To Always Remaining Beautiful in a Man’s Eyes?).
His sexual fantasy over how beautiful you are will only last a fleeting moment, especially if you are terrible in bed. What men ultimately look for is a pretty face, sure, but one that belongs to a woman who fully knows how to participate and share in all things, especially sex. It’s unfortunate that often these two don’t seem to go together. Perhaps the girl with the pretty face is used to expecting that everyone will serve her without her having to return the same to the man of her dreams. This becomes her grand mistake. Her heart will be forever broken until she takes the focus off of herself, and when she does, she will become most beautiful.
The woman who lies emotionless during a sexual experience is not exciting and will eventually lose the interest of the MOYD (Understanding Why Men Cheat… And How You Can Prevent It). A woman who fully participates in the sexual experience is exciting and will always have the best chance in keeping the MOYD excited about her because her focus is not solely on self-satisfaction. This is how to keep it honest and new.
And that’s the key to a long lasting relationship and exciting sex life. Express yourself verbally and physically and let your man know he is getting the job done, and the happier and more exciting your sex life will be (The Five Magic Words the Man You’re Dating Secretly Wants You to Say).