Here’s a scary truth: crazy men know how to appear as the men of your dreams (Why Do I Always Attract Crazy Men?). In fact, usually if a man seems too perfect — like you wrote up the blueprint for him and had him tailor made for you — it’s because he isn’t being himself. The real man of your dreams probably won’t seem that way at first glance because people take time to get to know. The man of your nightmares, however, will do everything in his power to look like the man of your dreams quickly, so he can rope you in quickly. And once he does that, it can be very difficult to get out once you see him for who he really is. But here’s how to get out of a relationship with the man of your nightmares.
Tell your friends to have your back
The man of your nightmares will know just how to manipulate you to get you back, and to get you to question your own decisions. Your friends are your greatest allies in helping to keep you out of a relationship with a toxic man. I am not a big advocate in sharing the intimate details of your relationship with others, but in this hopefully rare case I will allow an exception to the rule. So tell them everything. Tell your close friends every awful, gory, terrifying detail and story of your relationship so they know exactly how awful the man is, and so that they can remind you of those awful details when you feel weak and want to go back to him. When your emotions take over, and the man of your nightmares is saying just what you want to hear, your memory will become cloudy and you’ll forget all the bad times. But your friends will not forget, and they’ll remind you how awful things were.
Write yourself a letter
If there are some things you’re not comfortable disclosing to your friends you can always write yourself a letter, reminding yourself of the worst moments in the relationship and why you have to get out of there. Return to this letter when the man of your nightmares is trying to tempt you back into the relationship.
Don’t expect to reason with him
A truly nightmarish partner will not respond to reason. Someone who is crazy cannot see that he is crazy. If you try to explain the reasons you’re leaving the relationship (he is jealous, he is controlling, he is emotionally unstable etc.), he will make up excuses for everything. And since your emotions are involved you might even accept those excuses. So keep the actual breakup conversation brief. If you need to provide a few explanations, provide ones that are impersonal.
I am once again not an advocate of being dishonest, but in this rare case it might be necessary to save your life. The easiest way to end things with someone without them trying to get you back is by simply saying, “I don’t have feelings for you anymore.” Now, the truth is you probably do still have feelings for him. That’s what makes him the man of your nightmares: you’re emotionally attached to someone who is terrible for you. But you’ll have to lie and say you no longer have feelings for him. He cannot argue with how you feel even if he can argue with just about any other explanation. So don’t give him any.
Expect him to lash out
The man of your nightmares will turn your days into living nightmares when you break up with him. He is going to accost you with text messages. Don’t be surprised if you wake up one morning to over 20, deranged, desperate, scary text messages from him. That’s what makes him the woman of your nightmares: he won’t go down without a fight. And those text messages/emails/voicemails will be filled with things you’ll want to respond to. He will probably pick at things very personal to you, and push all the right buttons. He’ll tell you you’re not talented at your passion, that your friends all hate you, that you’re fat — anything that will get your blood boiling. And he is doing this to get a reaction out of you. Even a crazy man knows reverse psychology; if he tells you you’re not loveable, you might become so insecure that you want to win his love just to prove your worth. Don’t give into this! Everything he is saying is out of fear and pain. His insults to you are probably not true, and even if they are, just remind yourself of his true intent behind saying them! So don’t engage the conversation.
Block, block, block
In the beginning, you’ll think blocking all communication with this man is excessive (Should a Woman Block her Jealous Ex on Social Media?). But he’ll slowly show you that it’s necessary, so you may as well avoid the process and do so now. He won’t stop calling once you ask him to stop calling. He will show up at your home uninvited. He will email you obsessively. So just block all access he has to you now. This isn’t only so he will leave you alone but it’s also to save you from yourself. You probably still have feelings for this person, and so much as seeing his name pop up in your email or on your phone will tempt you to communicate with him. And every time you exchange even one word with him, you open up the wound of the breakup a little bit more.
A true man of your nightmares will be difficult to get away from. You have to be extremely disciplined, and essentially save yourself from yourself — because he will not respect your request to be left alone.
Or most importantly you can pray to God that he be healed and all be well with your break up and let the angels take care of the rest.
Always remember God is with you and God loves you and he will protect you if you ask.