Just when you thought you knew everything there is to know about men! So you’re beautiful, successful, educated, and gainfully employed…where is your dream man? Perhaps you have all the intangibles a man would be looking for in a woman: you’re thoughtful, kind, considerate, and unselfish, but you still cannot seem to keep a man to “save your life.” What’s the problem? Well, maybe it’s the sex. What many women fail to understand is that you need to be sexually compatible with your partner in order to keep sex fun and exciting. It’s just that simple. (How Do You Know If You Have the Bomb-Dot-com Vajajay?)
Just because you have a vajajay does not automatically make having sex with you good, or make you compatible with the man you are attracted to. (All Vaginas are Not Sexually Pleasing to the Male Species as Assumed) I know this has to be a huge, scary dilemma for most women because it is the luck of the draw. You finally find this man with whom you’re completely compatible on paper, but then you have sex and it’s like, what happened?
Sexual incompatibility, my lady, is a huge turn-off for many men. It’s embarrassing. How do you tell the potential girl of your dreams that having sex with her is whack? Even I could not bring myself to tell my ex (or just about any woman I found myself in this position with) that sex with her was whack! The only amicable solution was to not have sex with her and slowly fade away; anything else would have been disastrous. But now I can explain to you some of the many reasons for this phenomenon that I have experienced in my dating travels.
Lack of sexual communication.
Sex with some women is a mystery. You don’t know if she feels good or bad because although she may sometimes make a squeak or two, she does not express herself in any other way. You don’t know if it feels good to her or not, or if you are hitting her g-spot or not; when she has an orgasm it’s a secret she keeps to herself, and when it’s over you think she might have enjoyed herself but are not really sure. Ladies, as a general rule, men want to know when they are pleasing you with their performance.
The smell or lack thereof.
Women of different origins have different smells. For instance, most Asian women’s vaginas I have experienced usually smell like lime or tangy. It does not smell like good old “American vajajay,” like when you walk in grandma’s house and smell that apple pie baking in the oven. In their defense, the sex with them is usually very good and interesting because they are expressive and you know for sure when you are hitting the spot. Women of African origin usually have the stronger and more distinct smell out of women of all races I have experienced like good old Apple pie and women of Latin origin would be next, followed by the fainter scent of European women. (Why Men Love Hot Vagina Juice in the Summer?)
Smells obviously can turn a man on or off, and you have to know the man you’re dating and what he likes. The kinds of food a person eats affects the smell and taste of his or he secretions, so ladies, if you eat some sweet fruit in the morning, you’ll taste different than if you’ve been eating ghost peppers. If you are not getting the results you want, ask your man. You can even make a game of it.
Not being attentive during sex
In some cases when a woman expresses herself during sex, a man knows when he is hitting her favorite spot and making her feel good, so of course this is great: it’s what every man wants to accomplish! On the other hand, what if you are satisfied but he is not? Or in our last case scenario, if it’s only good for him for the moment as evidenced by his not rushing to get back to you. In fact, he does not even call you; you are calling him. (Why He Had Sex with You and Didn’t Call) You might be saying to yourself, yeah, what happened?
Well, in cases that I have experienced, the woman received but did know how to reciprocate so the man could experience that same pleasure. (Oral Sex 101: What You Need to Know) Then he realizes that having sex with you is simply that: having sex. It was not good or bad; it wasn’t much at all. Why is it not enough? Because there is a woman from his past out there that he had sex with whose energy he loved; she was expressive and passionate, maybe like many Latin women when they start calling for God or Papi or start speaking in their native language. You have no idea what she is saying, but you have the sneaky suspicion that it is good! As a man you know you got her exactly where you want her, she is begging you not to stop because it feels so good. It’s kind of hard for a bland chicken salad to compete with a spicy tuna salad at that point, and if you are the bland chicken salad type of sexual partner, you may have to find a man who only likes bland salads. I have never personally had conversations with these types of men, since men usually only speak of the women who were exciting – the spicy tuna version.
Just not a good fit.
Ladies, unfortunately there is very little you can do about your body type or the size and shape of your vagina in terms of a man’s penis. Either it fits or it does not. Either it feels good or does not. What are you going to do? You might be saying the same thing about the man you are having sex with, as I have heard women say quite often (whether it be a line or not), “No one feels like you in me.” (By the way, those are words men want to hear, although maybe not the “no one” since then we have to wonder how many others there have been! LOL, not a good discussion to have if you are trying to have sex at that moment or if you are trying to impress this potential man of your dreams but you have had sex with 50 men before the age of 30.)
No matter how beautiful a woman may be, she cannot control the sexual compatibility factor. He may love the way you look and think, he may see you as the most beautiful woman who as walked the planet, but the great equalizer among all women is sexual compatibility. He may choose the woman you least expect over you simply because he loves having sex with her. You have heard many women say, “I cannot believe he is dating ______, out of all people…uggggh.” However, his choice, as many other men’s choices are and is often based on something you just can’t see.
First, most men love to have with sex women; however, when it comes to choosing the woman of his dreams, a man who is wise wants to choose woman who is sexually compatible with him. If you have to fake it, then sexual compatibility is not natural. Do you want your toes to curl, or do you want to be faking orgasms? No act will ever beat the satisfaction of a woman who is naturally pleased by her man.
Second, most men love to have sex, of course, with the woman who is not only sexually compatible with him, but personally pleasing to him. This is how you create a win-win scenario for both parties. And think of the bonus of a man not only getting a woman he is sexually compatible with, but one whose scent is naturally arousing, too.
So remember that some of these intangibles are out of your control. If a man chooses the woman you would have least expected and quietly walks away from you, it might just be those animal pheromones. (Understanding Why men run from the Altar?)