Ladies, the last thing a man wants to do, either right before or right after sex, is to hurt your feelings. So to help both him and you out, let’s try to understand energy flow. Your man wants to have sex; he’s in the motion, he’s getting warmed up and he’s getting ready, and then you say, “Baby, just let me do the dishes first.” Dishes? Yes, that breaks the golden cord that was being created and the whole flow of energy now has to be rebuilt. This is how it works with men. What if in the middle of foreplay your man said “Hold on baby, I have to check the score on the game”?
Sure, if this is his first time having sex with you, then you can get away with doing just about anything, because the excitement of getting to know you will keep the flow of energy at a constant. However, if you’re in a relationship, it’s a little different.
When you are in a relationship, you should look at men like an old car: it takes a little more effort to start the car each morning, unlike the new car that just cranks right up. In order to keep the engine running nice and hot, you have to participate in order to better understand the moment and be a part of the flow. Lying there motionless and waiting for the man to do everything is no longer an option. (Exciting vs. Non-Exciting Sex) Your lack of participation and understanding is going to make it a little bit harder to get excited about you, especially if you don’t have any experience letting loose in bed and he’s got to teach you and tell you everything. After a while, this dynamic will take a toll on your relationship! And what I want to do is help you understand the nature of a man before this happens to you. (Understanding the 9 Big Reasons Men Cheat on Beautiful Women) Some of you naturally get it and others will have to learn the art of pleasing your man, just as you want to be pleased by him. (How To Take Care of the Man You’re Dating 101)
Long-term relationships have a lot of parts. (Understanding the Eight Stages to a Successful Long-Term Relationship) You may have gotten an A in the kitchen and a D in the bedroom, but remember that both components are essential to a successful and happy relationship. So let’s go right to the top twelve things not to do right before sex with the man of your dreams (MOYD).
1. Numeral uno, say you have to take a boo-boo. Nobody wants to have sex after you have just boo-boo then you come running back like, “Honey, let’s have sex now,” and you haven’t even taken a shower yet. Everybody knows you never can truly wipe your butt clean with tissue paper; no matter how hard you try, there’s still some boo-boo stuck in your crack somewhere and this is the impression you leave in your man’s mind if you don’t stop and take a shower first. He’s thinking, “Man, I am freaky, but I do not want to be licking anybody’s left over skid marks from missed attempts,” It’s like fishing in the dark. (Why Men Love Hot Vagina Juice in the Summer?) It’s just not mental picture you want to leave in your man’s mind right before sex.
2. Number two, the second thing you don’t want to do right before sex, is to wait until right before he is going to stick his penis in you to say “wait, wait…let me go get something.” Can you say mood killer? Ladies, as a general rule, when your man is trying to have sex with you and he’s right there at the insertion point, you should’ve already done all that you want to do before that point. This means pre-planning! As the old saying goes, “Don’t get ready – be ready.” So you never find yourself saying “Honey stop, wait, and let me go grab some lube,” make sure you’ve got that nightstand stocked. Don’t let unpreparedness kill the mood.
3. OK, point number three: so your man is in a freaky mood and he wants to do something a little different. He tells you to close your eyes and put your arms above your head as he gently puts something over your eyes … and the first thing you do is grab it off or your face. What are you doing? Your insecurities and lack of trust are killing the mood! If you can’t trust your man maybe you shouldn’t be having sex with him in the first place. So if you trust him, you’ve got to let the energy flow and go with the moment. It will be exciting, and part of the fun is letting go: you can’t always be in control of everything. (Of course, if this is a one-night stand, you’ve got different ground rules.) (Understanding How Men Really Feel about the Infamous One-Night Stand?)
4. Being a pillow queen! If you just lie there like sex is a chore, with no energy…it’s like, what’s the point. (Exciting v Non-Exciting Sex)
5. Another thing to do to be prepared: don’t eat onions or garlic (self explanatory), or if you must, at least brush your teeth and gargle really good.
6. This is not the time for talking too much or asking too many questions. Ladies, right before sex is not the time for 20 questions, especially about another woman or who did what when, where, and at what time.
7. Don’t stop to answer the phone or text message! Really, in my book this is a relationship deal breaker. (First Date Deal Breakers) You’re making the person you’re with feel unimportant. Some things will just have to wait, and responding to a text is one of them.
8. Don’t go indulge in some form of drugs to get turned on. If you have to do this, it’s a bad sign of a much larger problem. (12 Ways to Help the Man of Your Dreams (MOYD) Get Over a Drug or Alcohol Addiction) It may seem fun to you sometimes, and perhaps to the man you are about to have sex with as well, but you have to be honest with yourself: would you want to be in a relationship with a man who has to be high in order to perform in the bedroom?
9. Farting or better known as passing gas. I am sorry ladies, but this is unacceptable right before sex, especially if it is one of those silent deadly ones. Take some Beano with your meal.
10. Saying the lights have to be off. Ok, you’re about to have sex, you two are burning hot with desire for each other, and right as your man is getting all the way into you, you stop and say, “Honey, can you turn off the lights?” Hmmmm? Ladies, most men want to see your beautiful bodies: be confident and share.
11. Sudden change of position. What you may not realize is your man has already envisioned, perhaps even hours before waiting to get home so he can get you into the exact position he wants to have sex with you in. If you’re getting down and right before he is ready to stick his penis in you, you say, “Can we turn over?” Another mood killer, followed by a long conversation about what position is best and now you have both lost the urge to even have sex. You get frustrated, you think you’ll try again another day, and then those days turn into weeks and perhaps months and you’re wondering what happened. (How to Resuscitate Your Relationship If You’re Only Having Sex with Your Man Once a Year)
12. Needing certain spot and locations. Some men like spontaneity and some men don’t. You have to know your man for this one; however, if he is the type who likes to take risks and wants to have sex in the private bathroom at your job or in the back of the airplane on your way to Fiji and you can get away with it, go for it. A sudden “No not here, let’s wait to we get to Fiji” will certainly kill off the excitement and momentum and adrenal rush received from doing a forbidden act in a forbidden place. (Although I have personally never notice any signs on a commercial flight that says “No Sex in the Bathrooms”.) Hey, we are all grownups and sometimes you just have to do what you have to do!
Ladies, generally speaking, men are simple: either they are wild and freaky, or they are not. It is most important to remember that while engaging in sexual relationship with the man of your dreams, you are actually dealing with two personalities, the one that belongs to him and the one that belongs to his penis. During arousal, the penis is often the stronger of the two and it wants what it wants now!