I am on my way home from work and I am beyond exhausted. It’s late, and it has been a very, very long day. All I am looking forward to is taking off my heels, putting on my comfiest pair of yoga pants and crawling into bed with my boyfriend for a cuddle and a nice long sleep to forget about the turmoil of the day. However, as soon as I pull into the driveway, I know something is up. Something is different.
As I open the front door, I am immediately greeted with a path of rose petals and the smell of vanilla scented candles. (60 Seconds That Will Change Your Relationship Forever!) This is a surprise. I mean, I did warn him that it was a rough day, but I never expected this. I follow the path of rose petals all the way to the bathroom, where I find a rose petal and bubble bath filled tub. I release a huge sigh as the weight of the day immediately rushes out of my body. I strip down to nothing and hop into the tub. I haven’t seen my boyfriend yet, unaware of where he waits, but in this moment, my only thought is the perfect temperature of the suds filled bath.
I bask in the water for what seems like hours. Once my fingers begin to prune, I decide it’s time to get out. But I refuse to redress (Garters Are a Girl’s Best Friend). I step out of the tub to dry off and decide that there is no need for my towel. Feeling re-energized all of a sudden, I am curious as to where my man is. I continue to follow the rose petal path all the way into the bedroom, where I find little tea light candles spread throughout the space and there he is, standing in the corner completely naked with the biggest smile overtaking his entire face. I rush to him and plant a huge, wet one on his lips. Without a single word, he then walks me to the bed where he proceeds to give me the best massage of my life followed by the most sensual sex we have had in weeks. It was out of body quality sex. It may have been the bath beforehand loosening up my muscles along with my inhibitions, or it could have been the mood he so perfectly set prior to the deed. But, whichever it may have been, I was floating on cloud nine for the next 3 hours.
I have been with my boyfriend for a few years. And although it’s not often that I am greeted with such a spectacle, I can attest to the fact that the sex is never boring. (Exciting Sex vs. Non-Exciting Sex) I am constantly surprised. Whether it is the gesture of romance complete with a bubble bath and massage, or if it’s a single text to warn him just how horny I am while I am on my way home and he surprises me standing naked at the door, not even giving me a chance to take off my shoes before he’s pushing me up against the counter to fulfill my need, I am always surprised.
This is excitement. The surprise; the excitement of the unknown. What will he do next? What do I expect when I come home tonight? Sex doesn’t have to be borderline BDSM to be exciting. Does that spice things up in the bedroom? Sure it does. I wouldn’t be opposed to it, and I think it is completely healthy to exercise. But, for me, excitement is not knowing what the sex is going to be like next time or how it will be initiated. And with each surprise is a new sensation during the deed that I have never felt before. Each surprise, each act, whether big or small puts my mind in a different frame, hence the different sensations.
The issue with couples these days is not only do they not know what their partner wants or likes or needs, but rather they get into a slump for sex. It is always the same time/day/place/position and initiated in the same way. There is no variety. To ensure that it never gets boring and always remains exciting whether you have been together 2 months or 50 years try switching it up a bit. And I don’t mean go to the extremes to please your partner. Just change the venue, the time during the day, the atmosphere. Even little changes can make a huge difference. And grant it, much of it has to do with how well you know your partner to see if it will work or not. But to me, that is exciting sex: the surprises; the not knowing what tricks are up his sleeve for next time. This is what keeps it interesting. And sex should always be interesting. If it’s not, you are doing it wrong (pun intended).