If you want to be truly respected by men, you must set boundaries. As a lady, you’ll find that boundaries provide security and help to protect against attacks from all types of men from any direction. In plain English, here it is: if you allow a man to do whatever he wants, and if you invite him into your home when you’re inappropriately dressed, he’ll come in as far as he’s allowed. (How Women Misuse Their Power to Attract the Man of Their Dreams MOYD) Always remember that you alone are the first line of defense and if you want to be respected, you have to send a clear message to men. The first step is appropriate clothing and the second is managing the conversation and text messages. For example, a man’s sense of what he can or cannot say to you later translates into what time he is picking you up — either after midnight (booty call time), or prime time between 7 – 8 pm for dinner (wifey). (How to Know if You Are “Wifey” Material?)
Setting Boundaries in the Business and Personal World
Think about it: you’re already familiar with how useful boundaries can be. That old saying “good fences make good neighbors” reminds us that once you and another know what’s yours and what’s his, you can save a lot of energy and have a more honest, friendly interaction. And did your mamma set your boundaries for your own good? You bet she did.
In the same way, in a world dominated by men it can be up to women to set boundaries. While an unjust or mentally ill man may ignore them anyway, boundaries can still help keep men from overstepping and imposing their will on you. Boundaries help prevent unwarranted attacks and approaches, unwanted contact, and sexual harassment the same way that they save business and personal relationships. And if you didn’t have luck setting them in the first place? It’s not too late; you can still set boundaries as an intervention.
You’re here because you want to understand how men really think and feel. Men are naturally hunters and often act according to their animal instincts. Knowing this, don’t let yourself be in a position to be hunted unless this is your desire. Set boundaries, and those boundaries will be respected. It does not matter if the man is 75 or 25 years old, still set boundaries.
Woman who have a no-nonsense policy attract men who are more respectful of their boundaries. Sure, men can be like hunters, but what’s interesting is that many men have a hidden cowardly nature and are just as afraid to approach a woman as she is of him approaching her!
Women who have no boundaries, though, attract men with no boundaries. (Why do I always attract Crazy men?) It makes sense when you think about it: good men are often more attracted to the woman who sets boundaries, it tells them you have morals, a good set of standards, and when you’re around other men, you’re not going be easily taken home for a one-night stand.
You may encounter people who test the boundaries you’ve set both to see if they’re real and to judge your strength. It’s up to you to maintain these boundaries even when they’re being tested. This is how it works in a business or social environment: if you start off allowing men to do whatever they want, they’ll up the ante. First it could be as simple as a kiss on the cheek; he thinks, “Hmmm, she let me get away with that,” and next time it’s an inappropriate hug. If you are too nervous or fearful to put a stop to it, a man will naturally try anything he can get away with. Remember that you are surrounded by people of all levels of character. Some men will be respectful as a matter of course, if you are in a relationship, but some men on the prowl will not be; some may even use alcohol and other drugs to lower your boundaries. At the end of the day, you are responsible for understanding the men around you that you have allowed in your personal space.
Understanding men and how they think will assist you in thwarting off unwanted attention and protect your home and relationships. But boundaries aren’t only about sex: people in this world want what they cannot have. Be nice, be kind, but don’t be naïve. Boundaries will help you wherever you are in the world. You do not have to like (or act like you like) every person you meet, and certainly every person you meet is not going to like you. Don’t take it personally; it’s just the way of the world in which we live.
I know it may be a little embarrassing at first to speak up because you do not want to appear rude, but isn’t it better for it to be a little embarrassing now and tell someone to respect your personal space than to be put in an uncomfortable situation later because you were too afraid to open your mouth? Don’t worry if you ever find yourself in a situation where you have to tell a man “Hey, back up a little bit.” It may shock him and stun him at first, and it may feel a little uncomfortable and awkward for you, but in the end you will have established your boundaries. A man who violently tries to overcome them anyway is not one you want in your life.
Setting Boundaries with Alpha Males
But what about the Alpha male, the go-getter with his own successful business? You have to understand that Alpha males are used to getting what they want. Well, that’s a call for even stronger boundaries. An Alpha male will respect the woman who has the courage to set strong boundaries. Men are much like the animals in the wild; they go after the easy prey. So if you have a strong countenance that sends a message of respect when most men are looking for a quickie or easy prey, you will attract more quality men, men who have morals and their own sets of boundaries.
Look at some simple ways to put this theory into practice as you meet new people. A boundary can be as simple as requesting a person who comes to your home to take off his or her shoes. Now the boundary has been established for all people who come to your home to take off their shoes. People then will respect the way things are done in your space. It is very important for a woman in a world of men to set boundaries, not only to protect her relationships, but also her home and family.
Never feel pressured to do anything. It doesn’t matter what somebody asks you to do, whether they tell you to stand up or sit down, if it is not right within your spirit. Be of good courage and follow the spirit within, which is God telling you what to do or not to do. Listen to the spirit within, set your boundaries, and you will never be misled.