So let’s say I met this girl name Lucy. She was dressed so fine, with such style and elegance in beautiful heels and a skirt fitting just right, so of course, as a man, I wanted to get to know her. Okay, in reality, to have sex with her. But eventually, as I get to know her, I realize that the sexual relationship needs a little sprucing up.
A woman may look great in clothing and know how to do all of the external things that attract you, but when it comes down to actually having an exciting sexual relationship, she may need a little bedroom training. Why? She falls short in the sex department for one of many reasons as follows: one, sex is not something you are born to be good at — like anything, it takes practice and she’s had very little; two, she’s not big on communicating and expressing herself; three, she is unresponsive or just lies there, perhaps confused as to what she is supposed to be doing.
Ladies, if this is you, it is now time to learn some new techniques and tune up your skills in the bedroom. If your man is not having sex with you all the time or is not that interested, it is not necessarily because he is out there cheating with someone else (How to Resuscitate Your Relationship If You’re Only Having Sex with Your Man Once a Year). It could be because sex with you needs a little tune up. Nothing to fear; let’s just go ahead and figure out what you can do differently to greatly improve the experience.
Here’s part of the conundrum: men love it when a woman has a lot of sexual experience because of how good it makes her in bed, but do not necessarily want to marry a woman with vast amounts of sexual experience because that may make him insecure. The perfect scenario, though, could be a woman who has very little to no sexual experience but is adventurous and willing to learn. But how can you become good at sex when you have no experience?
How to become an excellent sex partner
Ladies, the simple key to becoming a great sex partner is FEEDBACK. (Should Women Talk Trash During Sex?) Men want to know that they are pleasing you! When you or your body is unresponsive, a man will never know if you are being pleased. That takes all of the fun out of having sex! Of course we want you to please us, but we also want to know that we are pleasing you first and hitting that proverbial G-SPOT that brings you ecstasy. So you have to let your man know if he is doing a good job or not.
Ok ladies, I am not talking about having a full blown conversation about what you want to do next week when he is giving you oral sex — save that conversation for a little later. I am instead emphasizing the importance that you communicate especially when you are about to have an orgasm. Announce when you are having an orgasm and announce when it is complete. Why? Because if you are the silent type, we will have no idea that you even had one if you fail to communicate, and this is truly a bummer. Let your man share in your experience and ecstasy. Why? A man will never get to know and understand what excites you and turns your body on if you do not communicate. Plus, it gratifies us to know that we gratify you!
Be Different and Spontaneous
Ladies if your man wakes up early in the morning and puts your body in a different position, it’s because he has been thinking about you all night and wants to try something new early in the morning. Please don’t flip back around to missionary position unless the new position hurts. Try the new position or idea, you might like it. But most importantly being open to new positions, places and times can really raise the excitement level in your sex life and relationship.
Great sex is a two-way street
Let’s say you like oral sex, but never think for a moment to give your man oral sex if he likes it (Oral Sex 101: What You Need To Know). Good sexual partners communicate and participate. Period. The greatest part of a man’s curiosity about a woman is not the sexy outfit you spent all day shopping for, but if having sex with you will be great or not. If you’re concerned that you haven’t been putting the kind of attention into your sex life that you’ve put into your wardrobe, remember that you must make up for the variations in your talents.
With the right attitude, you can learn. By being more attentive in your sexual experiences, eventually over time can improve greatly. First, analyze yourself and determine whether you are the responsive or unresponsive type. Do you just lie there and let him do all the work? It may be exciting for you and him the first few times, but eventually your lack of participation will become a bore. Do you communicate what feels good or not? I am sorry ladies, but if you lie there motionless in silence, we can only assume that it’s not good for you, so eventually, it will not be good to us either. Think of it this way: have you ever met someone with a fish handshake? You know, the kind where they barely shake your hand as if you have some type of disease, just proffering this damp, limp appendage? How did you feel after that? The feeling you get after that handshake is exactly how a man feels when having sex with a motionless and silent woman.
Be present for sex with you whole body, mind, and spirit. Focus your energy on the experience at hand. You want to continue that focus to the point where the passion between you both is ready to explode. Remember, it takes two people to create passion, so do not try to take the easy way out. Instead of getting discouraged and giving up, do the opposite: massage his feet, rub his back, ask his opinion and continually look for ways to excite your man. You will be met by him and find the success and passion that you both deserve and desire in your relationship.