When Does It Start to Matter?

It is one of many double standards that some men have opted to adopt: Although it may be common for men to walk around neglecting to groom properly or thoroughly take care of their hygiene, they are completely turned off when encountering a woman doing exactly the same. It is accepted that men turn a blind eye to hygiene, so it is ok when a man looks as if he is giving a grizzly bear a piggy-back ride, or that a beaver has attached itself to his chin – not to mention that nose curlingodor waffling from who knows where; or rather who wants to know where? These poor hygiene practices for men are generally ok. We are men, and in the hygiene department it could be much worse. You should have seen the guy the day before your date! But when it comes to women, it is a different story.

Proper hygiene in women is crucial in order to attract the men of their dreams. Most men will not even consider dating a woman long-term if she has hygiene issues.  Since men tend to base a lot of their attraction on factors like scent and what is visible to the eye, having disheveled hair and clothes, body odor, bad breath, missing teeth, and the like are often seen as unhealthy, and will encourage harsh discrimination.

Proper hygiene is the easiest way for men to determine what kind of person you are. Hygiene is easily maintained. A lack of hygiene shows a certain lack of self-confidence and maintenance.  This can be sending the signal to potential mates that not only are you unable to take care of yourself, but how could you take care of children if the relationship developed into a lifelong love affair?

This does not mean you need to be immaculate every time you see the potential man of your dreams.  Obviously everyone has bad breath every now and again, and everyone has bad hair days, and times when we don’t look our best, but a consistent lack of hygiene will make your chances of finding the man of your dreams much harder.

Private Areas

No matter how hot you are or how interested a man may be in you, some deal breakers are hygiene issues related to your private areas. Men in America will quickly run as fast as they can from any woman who has a strange or unpleasant scent omitting from their nether regions.  Some men may be put off by overgrown or bushy pubic or underarm hair. If you have a strong hair gene and grow hair above your lip, on your chest, or parts of your lower back, you may want to wax more often or consider laser hair removal.

Hairspray, and We Don’t Mean the Movie

You don’t need to wash your hair every day. However, it is easy to tell that something in your shower routine is missing just by observing the lackluster shine of your locks. Your hair becomes especially important while dating when you are unable to keep it fashionable because of the poor state of your hair. Excessive hairspray, frizzy hair or even hats and wigs can all be deal breakers for men. Having a fashionable hairstyle that matches both your personality and body shape is important to men. It lets men know that you care enough about yours looks, and know what style makes you look more beautiful.

To Bathe or Not to Bathe

Wash your body often! Your body sheds skin constantly, and without proper showers it is likely to flake and fall off right in front of your date. There is nothing more disgusting than witnessing your snowfall of skin as you rub up against yourself or others. Not bathing will also lead to unwanted smells that often baffle men. Men still believe in a world where women smell and taste like flowers and honey. It is highly recommended that you should also soak in a bath once a week, and drown any tiny microscopic mites who might be living on your body, or that were transferred from someone else’s body to yours.  If you saw what they looked like under the microscope you would run to the bathtub.  Don’t confuse your date by showing up funky. That experience would be a reality burst that he may not be prepared to accept.

Some Men Like it Funky or Natural

On the other side of that equation, are some men who enjoy the scent of a woman fresh from the gym.  Some outdoorsmen, who don’t mind a little funk around their women when out in the wild, actually find the lack of hygiene intoxicating. The important thing to remember is to know your man. Is he big on hygiene or is he more flexible with it? Honestly ladies, too much of that natural aroma has been washed and douched away.  A vagina does not even smell like a vagina anymore. It just has no smell. All the natural pheromones to attract a man have been cleansed away. Clean, but please don’t take away your natural, fingerprinted scent.  A man who is in tune will remember your sweet natural aroma, and will sniff his way back for more.

Nails for Days

The state of your hands and feet indicates a lot about your general cleanliness and hygiene, so don’t let your grubby fingernails and scruffy toenails give you away! Keeping your fingernails and toenails trimmed and in good shape will prevent problems such as hangnails and infected nail beds. Nails chewed to nothing are not signs of a woman with class and maturity. Guys are not expecting you to get weekly manicures to keep your hands and feet in good shape, however, you should do the bare, minimum upkeep. You can buy a nail kit for under 20 bucks and use it at home.  It will be one of the best investments you will ever make. It is a deal breaker for men to see that you do not keep your nails clean, nor smooth out rough edges with an emery board. No man wants to look at, much less be touched by, jagged-edged fingernails or dry, crusty feet. Do you remember the old saying, “Scrub a dub dub in the tub?”

Use Crest Whitening Strips

Nothing warms a man’s heart better than a bright smile. A woman with a beautiful smile is guaranteed to win him over every time! It should follow that teeth that are stained, yellow or show visible signs of plaque are sure to send him in the other direction. Ideally, you should brush your teeth after every meal. At the very least, brush your teeth twice a day and floss daily. Most men will not stand dating a woman whose teeth looks like the corn he is trying to enjoy for dinner. An old remedy passed on from Granny is to brush your teeth using baking soda, sea salt and peroxide. Shhhh ! It works better than toothpaste and has no fluoride. Most importantly do not forget to brush your tongue.  There is nothing worse than clean teeth and a funky tongue.

Velvety Skin Is Velvety Good

No man can resist touching soft skin. Isn’t that reason enough to make sure you skin is velvety smooth? Men will not take you or your date seriously if you cannot take proper skin hygiene seriously. Combat dryness with creams and moisturizers. Without it, your skin will look dry as a powder house, and he won’t be turned on by that. Ashy legs went out in the 80’s.

Dirty Clothes

Are there dirty clothes in this house? Can you say deal breaker?  Rings around your jacket collar, sleeves, cuffs, and lapels that clearly show that you rarely wash your clothes, are potential deal breakers. They make a man wonder how and if you properly cleanse yourself. Rings, not wedding rings, and stains that have been in your clothes for so long they are embedded in the material so that even the toughest stain removers cannot get them out, are not a good lead-ins for you getting the blonde brownie award for personal hygiene. When a man is serious about you, he will think long term. Ahhhh, man kids, the clothes are going to be dirty! Clothes piled up on the floor and in your closet for days and weeks are not a good sign that you value your personal hygiene. Go invest in a dirty clothes hamper for under 20 bucks.  No guy of class and maturity wants to date a woman with bed bugs crawling through her clothing. Hey I live here too! Other than for obvious health reasons, practicing good body hygiene helps you feel good about yourself. While dating, you need this extra confidence to sell yourself and be in position to present yourself to the fullest. You should not set yourself up for being insecure because your hair is frazzled, or your nails look as if they were in a train wreck, or your skin is peeling. For most people, good hygiene is so much a part of their daily routines that they think little about it. They bathe, they brush their teeth, visit the dentist and doctor for regular checkups, and wash their hands before preparing or eating food and after handling unsanitary items. All of these practices are important, and will be noticed by men of class and maturity. Come to your date with your best groomed foot forward, and let the love sparks fly as you enjoy a wonderful (and hygienically clean) evening with him.

Written by Relationship Coaches:  Paul V., James T., and Simon S.

Online Dating

Before we even had a phone conversation she Googled me. What the hell?  This is a Google invasion of privacy.  Geeez!  Ladies, yes use it as a tool, but beware. Your grandmothers and mammas did not have Google and their relationships lasted twice as long on average as the modern day marriage.

Men to some degree don’t want you running down their profile before they can even tell you about themselves. We like to have a little bit of anonymity. More than likely, the man of your dreams is not a boastful person, so he would like to surprise you with a quality or accomplishment or two about himself. What we are saying, is the man of your dreams would like to share that moment when he tells you about himself face to face, so he can see your reaction.  There is nothing like that first moment, “Helen there is something I want to tell you.”

“Yes?” Helen asks.

“I have three kids and three baby mammas.”

There’s nothing like seeing Helen’s real reaction.

But if you Google the man of your dreams before you have a conversation with him, you are actually disrespecting your natural abilities to discern his character. You’re taking away his most cherished element of surprise.

Some men like to brag, but a man of class and character will not be braggadocios. By Googling, you are unknowingly sapping your self confidence in your ability to use your own discernment. Thus you will always be running to the computer and relying upon it instead of using it as a tool to help you. Your grandmother and mother had to rely on their natural instincts to choose the men of their dreams.  Although with technology we have advanced greatly in society, there is still a lot to be learned from our predecessors’ past experiences.

Think about it like this. If he is really interested in you, the man who really has money does not want you to know from the start, “Helen I have a million dollars in my bank account.”

If a man’s intentions are just to sleep with you, he will tend to boast more and let you know he has money that he may or may not have.  Men know that money is the #1 security that most women desire. Sometimes a man will present the illusion that he is rich, so he can get the prize, but 9 times out of 10, a man like this has no intention about the relationship being anything other than a good time.  A man who is serious about you wants you to like him for who he is as a person and not what he has in his bank account.  A wise man knows that for a woman who will be truly committed for the long haul, the most important security is love and respect. Money is perhaps a distant second.

The simple formula for a man is flash the money get the girls, but flash your inner beauty to get the wife. Google may give you some information but it will not tell you a man’s true character. That you will always have to determine for yourself.  Google will never be able to tell you the emotional state of a human being.  It may tell you every fact known to man but it will never be able to tell you how that man is feeling at that very moment.

Ladies, please do not draw conclusions from the information you may find about a man on Google.  Always be a woman of class and maturity.  It is better to ask the man on the phone about what you may have found,  prior to your first date.  Do not go on the first date with a checklist of potentially embarrassing questions.  This will make for a very awkward first date to say the least.  Ask all your questions beforehand. If you feel comfortable with his answers, then go on the date.

How To Get the man of your dreams.com has decided to tackle one of the toughest and most controversial subjects of our century, with a solution and explanation through mathematical and economic deductive reasoning.

It is purely a mathematical equation. If you talk to 100 black women and get one decent one, and you talk with 100 white women and get twenty decent women, it just makes mathematical and economic sense to date the women with whom you would have spent the most amount of time and had the least financial burden. Many black women would yell out, that’s because white women are easy! We respectfully disagree, especially regarding Swedish white women in America; ask Tiger Woods about his ex-wife, Elin Nordegren. They are anything but easy and are as tough as black women, mainly because they have no idea they’re white. Being white is an American ideology and culture. So, let’s begin with the first equation; let’s do the simple math, 100 dates, 100 dinners, 100 checks, (plus interests and fees if using a credit card), 100 tips and no guarantees. You’ll be lucky to get a thank you, and at the end of it all may have one real prospect. What would you do? Who would you date? Many young American black women are broken, mentally, spiritually and financially. Do the math. If more black men dated outside of their race they would actually own more assets, houses, possibly stocks and be able to cover the basics like health and life insurance, (which would cut police brutality against the black man practically in half, because they would not be constantly spending their hard earn dollars on woman after woman trying to find a good one. Racism exists partly because most young black men do not have expensive life insurance policies if they have one at all. We all agree that when a black man finds a good American black woman there is nothing more beautiful, but look at the effort that it takes to find that one. It makes no economic sense.

Now, you take the same equation, flip it around and take 100 white women, the odds are that you will find 20 out of that 100. Many black women would disagree with this, because they are not dating themselves; they only see it from their perspective. Why is it that when you go to dinner with a black woman, 9 times out of 10 she will never leave a tip? Why does the white or Asian woman offer or leave a tip? They all have jobs. Why is it when you go to the club and buy a black woman a drink she will take the drink and walk off like you are nothing? Why is it that the white or Asian woman will buy you a drink? The drink the black woman walked off with was $10, which is a little more than the equivalent of an average man’s hourly wages, or 1/8 of his work day and 9 times out of 10 the black woman got in the club free. What would you do? Who would you date? Why is it that you have to be in a Mercedes, BMW or Bentley just for her to give you some attention? Why do you have to wear a Rolex, the best clothes, the best shoes in order for her to be nice to you? Have you ever looked across the table at a white woman and the man she is dating? He can be the bummest dresser, he may even be driving an old car, but she is sitting right there up under his arm. Black people did this in the 60’s and early 70’s, and we had more love and unity. But, today it is not good enough for the majority of American black women. Today you have to keep up with the Jones’s or you get no action.

A high desire for material possessions is not just limited to the black race, but it’s spirit dominates the American black woman. Every man, especially black men, know the key to getting into a black woman’s pants is through money and success. The basics are: nice car, nice clothes, and at bare minimum his own apartment. All of these are depreciating assets, but these are the prerequisites to obtaining the woman of his desire. The majority of black men focus on these goals, not because they want it for themselves, but because they have to have it in order to attract the American black woman. This is why less black men own homes, and look for the quickest route to the money. They desire to become rappers, athletes or drug dealers, all because they know money brings a black woman, and try to find the quickest way to obtain it so they can get the prize. The majority of black men in jail are there because they were trying to obtain the riches to please this very same woman and failed. They often took the path of least resistance to reach their goals, which ultimately equals less black men in college. In fact, every race knows money attracts an American black woman, including our large department stores such as Macy’s, Target, Marshalls, Nordstrom’s, etc, and the list goes on. Indeed, the entire American economy knows that black women in America spend the most money, period. This also relates to the American black population in general, including President Obama’s past campaign spending, being the first black president.

He indeed broke the campaign spending record.  There are purposely more stores for women and the biggest of all consumers’ is the American black woman, followed by the American black man trying to please that woman.   

The biggest of all consumers are women. It doesn’t just apply to black women but all races. But the biggest consumer of women is American black women. Therefore they have the most desire for money and the least practical means to generate it. Their desire for money matched with the fact that most black people do not have access to money has sucked true love and common sense right out of the black race. The “Spirit of Materialism”, dominates the woman who is the biggest spender and consumer of goods and services.

We’re not talking about every single American black woman as there are still some good black women in America (Proverbs 31), but between cable TV, BET, MTV, CNN, clubs and videos, most have been programmed not to love and support their black men. Black women desire the love they see on popular television shows such as “Friends”, without realizing their actions are contrary to the results they desire. The truth is a lot of black men end up with women from other races because these women were nice to them and accepted them for who they are and their current status in life. My name doesn’t have to be Snoop Dog for the White, Asian, or Hispanic woman to say hello and be nice to me. I didn’t have to be 7 ft tall with an NBA contract or be a rapper named Lil Wayne. If you took Lil Wayne and made him a regular, normal person without the name, he would get no play. American black women would tell him to get his teeth fixed, hair cut and tattoos removed, and they certainly would not take him home to their mommas. He would get no play. No offense to Lil Wayne, I’m proud of you bro. Keep doing what you are doing. Snoop dog is another. If his name was not Snoop Dog, with the success, fame and money, American black women would not give him the time of day if he asked, but would certainly get mad at the white woman for being nice and giving him the time. “It’s 5pm Snoopy Doggy.” Educated American black women from corporate America would certainly not give him any play. The only reason Snoop Dog gets play is, because Snoop Dog has money. It has nothing to do with whether he is a nice person or not. Sorry Snoop we love you dog, but we have to tell it like it is. His play would be minimum, if any, and it would be reduced, unfortunately, to the lower class hood rats of his former neighborhood, North Long Beach. It’s so easy to see that all the men with money, or who appear to have money attract all of the American black women. Then, black women in America wonder why there are no black men. It’s not that there are no black men, it’s just we are invisible to the American black women if we do not fit the height, roll and description that there mama told them to bring home, or the image they saw on TV. There are plenty of black men; it just so happens that the white, Asian, and Hispanic women find, recognize and appreciate us first.

If we are not driving a Mercedes, BMW, or Bently, and are only driving a Honda Civic, we are invisible and will not be noticed by the American black woman. Don’t be mad when the White girl, Asian girl, and Hispanic girl says,” Hey you don’t have a ride, I will drive you”.

In fact, the only time an American black woman wants to look at a black man who does not fit the description is when he is with another race or on the 5 or 11 o’clock news for committing a crime. “Hey girl did you see what so and so did?” Any other time that man would be invisible. When a black woman in American acts like she is disgusted with a black man being with a woman from another race, what is she really saying to herself? She’s saying he must have something material, which is why the white, Asian, or Hispanic woman is with him. Therefore, he should not be with her. He should be with a black woman. They could care less whether he is happy or not.

Little does that American black woman know he is the same black man that said “Hi” to her 100 times. But, a simple, “Hello, how are you doing today,” was not good enough for her. Little does that black woman know, he only said “Hi” to her counter parts 10 times and out of the 10 times 2 of those women said “Hi” to him. Most black women think a white woman’s only claim to fame is that they give and survive off of great blow jobs. They fail to see their own errors, which are the simple facts that they were not nice or kind to their own brother.

If you look at TV and observe all the famous American black female movie stars, how often do you see this movie star dating a regular black man who works at Home Depot, or the Fire Department, for example. The biggest insult of all time is Oprah Winfrey and Stedman Graham, who has been dating an American black woman billionaire for over 20 years. All black women look up to and basically worship Oprah. Oprah insults black men and tears the very fabric of our family structure apart, perhaps unknowingly. She showed black women around the world on a daily basis that, although she raves about dream weddings and pays millions of dollars to showcase them, she never once showed other black women how important her black man was by marrying him. No contract. No marriage. He was always kept in the background. She is a prime example of the current mind state of how black women in American view black men. If you do not make a man feel important or needed, why would he want to come home and be with you?

Oprah’s example is contrary to what is taught in the black church and the majority of most church houses in the American community at large. Oprah is excused, accepted and looked up to because she has money. Most do not realize that Oprah is perhaps still recovering from her many awful childhood experiences. Don’t get us wrong, we love, respect, and thank Oprah for all of her contributions. She is one dynamic woman. Even so, we must still be honest about how we feel as men looking from the outside. A house and a family must have structure. Someone has to be the boss and someone has to be the second in command. It’s no different than any American corporate structure. Marriage is a contract, marriage is a business. The serpent understood this very concept in Adam and Eve. So he approached the woman instead of the man who was the head, to deceive the man through his back door. Society has replaced that serpent in the garden, and has influenced American black women through jobs, promotions, and riches to not reach back and give a helping hand to their brother, protector, companion and lover, the black man. Women from other races desire money and riches as well, we all want nice things, but their desire is not as great as the majority of black women in America. They do not necessarily have to drive a Mercedes and own the best furs along with all the pressures of trying to keep up with the Joneses to feel good and validate themselves. Perhaps women from other races have found themselves lonely and looked over and saw that the black man was not being loved. It is better to have companionship even if it is with a dog than be in a cold world by yourself. How many times have you seen a white woman driving with a black man sitting on the passenger side? You can only conclude that this black man doesn’t have a car or insurance, but yet she is still driving him.

At the end of the day it is simple mathematics mixed with a little bit of kindness; do unto others as you would want them to do unto you. So many times have I witnessed black men treating the American black women, buying them drinks, flying them around the country; and I can count on one hand on average how many times I have seen an American black woman return the favor. The ones that return the favor easily position themselves to become the wives. When more black men understand what it is to make an investment, they will clearly be able to see that the time spent chasing the American black woman was not worth the effort. At the end of the day, when black men are too old to run and chase black women, they will realize they have been bamboozled. Once they realize this, they will no longer just date black women because it does not make economic or mathematical sense. They will look back on all the time, money and effort spent and realize they could have purchased a home, stocks, health and life insurance, and paid for a child’s college education. We are the biggest consumers, and to be a consumer means we are not investing in assets that appreciate. We only invest in assets that depreciate. Cars, clothes, cell phone bills, apartments, and eating out are all things that hold no future value. This is why intelligent black men, if they did the math will date outside their race.

All black men dating outside of their race are not necessarily smart and intelligent, but what they know on the most basic level is that this person likes them for who they are, whether they are rich or poor. This is beyond what most American black women are willing to do. If you do not have the “Bling”, the majority of American black women are not trying to speak to you. The only way attractive American black women will speak to you, if you don’t have any money, is if you are over 6 ft tall, look like a model, good hair, muscle bound, and have a certain skin complexion. If you are average in height and looks, these attributes are not good enough by themselves.

The men that fit this description run through American black woman like it isn’t funny. The proverbial faucet is always running, and they run through the majority of American black women like it’s nothing but a game. Usually the men that are running through them are friends of the guy that is totally invisible. We just sit back, observe and say, “Wow”. Being a nice human being simply isn’t good enough. What makes it so bad is that the corruption with the American black woman runs deep. It runs all the way back to the grandmother and sometimes even the great grandmother and beyond.

The end result is that all black women suffer for the actions of the now quadrupling amounts of ignorance. If black women want black men to stay focused on the prize, the black woman has to by force if necessary, smack, pull, prod and teach every single ignorant black woman, that is running like a fool, how to act in a respectful manner, just like we took responsibility for our community 40 and 50 years ago. If you saw someone that was doing something dumb, it didn’t matter, you took responsibility. Little does one know that the actions of a few have now become the culture of many American black women, has now multiplied exponentially, and is affecting the entire population of American black women. Birds of a feather flock together syndrome.

This is why other races of women are beating out American black women; it’s because there is too much ignorance, and it’s hurting all black women chances to find and keep the black man of their dreams. Do the math, the numbers will never lie. If black women did the math, I think they would be in agreement. I know it’s a hard core truth and many may not like it or agree, but sometimes you have to break it down to its very foundation just to rebuild it correctly. At the end of the day, black men would, of course, love to be with an American black woman who is down with him like our First lady, Michelle Obama, is for President Obama. But, please remember it was our President that used to drive a bucket, who one day became the President of the United States of America and Leader of the Free world.

-Relationship Coach Darius J.

Well first let’s define Booty Call.  According to Urbandictionary.com definition numero 2. (The explanation our relationship coaches liked most) breaks it down pretty clear: Booty Call: (noun) a phonecall, page,or conversation aimed at getting into your pants. Not an invite to a movie or dinner, not just coffee, not a casual or formal get-together, just a plain old-fashioned “let’s fuck”

“I woke at 4 a.m. with a massive hard-on. I picked up the phone and gave Ruthie a booty call. I wanted to mount her so very, very much. I had it REAL bad !”

This type of relationship seems to be the ideal situation for most single, hard working career focused men with families and girlfriends.  We find nothing wrong with this if you are 100% aware of what you are getting into and can keep your feelings in check. HOWEVER…more often than not feelings sneak up on people in these type of relationships and once the sex act is over it can leave the woman feeling like there is something missing. Now if un-attached dick is the fix you truly want then there are plenty of pickings out there to choose from but you must ask yourself some very honest questions. Why do I want sex without love, and committment? Is it because I want to fulfill my sexual needs or is it because I am tired of being hurt by men and this is a sure fire way to not let them in….no pun intended.

The act of sex is very bonding whether you realize this or not. It is not just about the exchange of bodily fluids but there is also an exchange of energy as well.  The very future of planet earth lies in those fluids.   Mix this with scientific data that supports how hormones are produced during sex that creates bonds and you are quite certain to have a recipe for emotional attachment mainly on the woman’s part. This is why you will hear alot of women say “Why can’t I leave him alone when I know he’s no good for me?”

Here’s what our relationship coaches dug up. According to the following article on LiveScience.com ”In women, oxytocin is released. It’s a chemical that makes women want to nurture their young and stay close. Men get a huge jolt of testosterone, which suppresses oxytocin, and that’s nature’s way of saying, ‘Leave the nest and go sire offspring somewhere else.’ So when women think they can have sex and walk away just like guys do, they’re having to suppress thousands of years of evolution that tells them to cuddle.”

Now we know what some of you ladies are going to say, which is that it happens to guys as well. Yes you are correct, but with men it is not as hormonal and has more to do with their attraction, lust and how you make them feel. Where as with women there is an invisible bond that is being created. If you are having amazing sex being his Booty Call over and over and over again you are sure to sing the blues once he finds his ideal mate and stops seeing you.

Now this unique relationship will be all fine with you until your Booty Call meets The Woman Of His Dreams. (HowToGetTheWomanOfYourDreams.com launching soon!) So without judgement we understand the need and desire for Booty Calls, but we want to educate you and help you understand that these situations do not always have the most positive outcomes. Someone (usually the woman) typically gets their feelings hurt and is left with a broken heart and they will usually ask themselves “How in the hell did this happen to me when all I wanted was just sex?” You have the oxytocin to thank for this. Hopefully this article will help you out and for those who are looking for late night Booty Calls…you’ve been warned.

 The 14 Step Program To Finding and Keeping The Man Of Your Dreams e-book now only 14.00

-Relationship Coach Doug G.

There are two sides to every coin, so it should come to no surprise that for every gentleman roaming this earth, there also exists a rude, obnoxious brute. The chant “chivalry is dead,” is a fallacy, but when it’s heard through the streets, it becomes more difficult for men with class to distinguish themselves from undercover jerks. Women seem to be more responsive to bad boy types who have no reservations about being outright disrespectful and brutal. This sort of acceptance blurs the lines between how a woman should be treated, and the type of treatment that women will accept. Nevertheless, there are a few old fashioned gentlemen who are unyielding in their practices of treating a woman properly. Most of what gentlemen do goes unnoticed. Their gestures are so subtle that many times their kind actions go unappreciated. Still, a gentleman is a gentleman for life. Here are sweet 16 signs about a true gentleman’s behavior that an ordinary man refuses to do.

Ladies First

Today’s society has somehow buried basic politeness that all women should appreciate, such as always letting women go first. When gentlemen display such a simple, selfless gesture these men make women feel as though they are placed on a pedestal.

Making the Responsible Decision no Matter What the Situation

A man who has class will do the right thing no matter what he is facing. He will always make the right decisions no matter how mad he gets. He will always be fair, even if he cannot stand the ground you walk on.

Communication

A man of class and maturity will call to make sure you made it home safely and ask that you do the same. He will also call to let you know he has made it to his destination safely. He is thoughtful and considerate and would want you to worry about him as little as possible. In addition he will have excellent phone manners, and will not leave you on hold without coming back to the phone and apologizing or excusing himself.

Saying Thank You

 It’s a small thing that is number one on my list. If the potential man of your dreams does not know how to say thank you, there is absolutely no way he will be able to please you in all facets of life. A basic courtesy not only shows refined social skills, it sets a peaceful, love nurturing tone in the conversation, and shows that your man really does appreciate all the great things in his life.

 Dangerous World Out There

Gentlemen pay attention to the fact that the world is more threatening to women. This coaxes gentlemen to protect women by doing such actions as allowing women to walk on the interior side of sidewalks, or walking her to her door or car. By virtue of being in the company of a real gentleman, women can rest assured they are protected.

Handing Out Respect Like Candy

Gentlemen acknowledge that they should help out a woman in need every time! If a woman is carrying something, they offer to pick it up when she puts it down. Singing out phrases like, “Let me get that for you,” or “Do you need a hand?” comes second nature to these choir gents. This is a number one rule that all gentlemen follow. Being selfish is not being attractive.

 Opening Doors

This is another small but huge distinction between decent men and fantastic men with whom you can spend a life. If the potential man of your dreams does not open doors for people in public, or worse yet does not open doors for you or your friends or family, it shows he is only thinking about himself. A man who isn’t actively thinking of others can only satisfy himself and cannot possibly be the man of your dreams.

Bodily Functions – Belching, Farting and Worse

Being in a relationship where you can just be yourself and show all sides to your partner is a wonderful thing, but there are limits. A man who cannot control his flatulence or belching during intimate moments, time around friends and family, or other inappropriate situations, shows a lack of class to say the least. Luckily this is a negative trait that can be quickly remedied by a simple sit down with the potential man of your dreams to discuss how it makes you feel when he belches out the alphabet in front of your friends or family.

Taking Responsibility for his Actions

A man of class takes pride in his inner and outer appearance, and strives to be a person any woman would be proud to call her husband, and children would be proud to call dad. At the root of that drive is responsibility. Being responsible and upfront is a key quality of a gentleman. A man responsible for his actions would rather break up than cheat behind your back. A man of responsibility will do all he can do and work with you in order to provide a stable life. A man of responsibility most of all wants to make sure you are completely satisfied, and that you will take the responsibility of returning the favor.

Arguing Style

Everyone has a point of no-return when it comes to getting angry and saying something regretted later. That does not mean that everyday life arguments turn into shouting matches about who can say the meanest thing. A man of class will be able to discuss differences and hear criticism without blowing up or resorting to hurtful words or defense mechanisms.

Please do keep in mind: it really takes great maturity and experience for a man to know how to properly handle an argument with the woman he loves, because she is so close to his emotions and heart. Love can make the best of us look like blabbering idiots. A gentleman may or may not have mastered this level 10 skill. Obviously if you are to harp on any man over one thing over and over and over again, be prepared for one unhappy fellow.

Table Manners  

A man of class has taken the time to learn to chew with his mouth shut, elbows preferably off the table, and to use the utensils from the outside in. A man who chews with an open mouth, or makes out-of-the-ordinary chewing or savoring noises while eating, is a man without class. A man who comes to the dinner table with dirty hands is a man without class, a man who is not putting himself in his best light.

Interacting with Friends and Family

A man of class and maturity is not looking to screw around with your sisters or best friends. Nothing could be more disrespectful or irresponsible. A gentleman politely interacts with your parents and friends even if they are not acting in their best light. A man of class tries to help and tries to become a part of your inner circle of friends and family and does not avoid such situations.

He Gives

A gentleman knows when it’s his turn to handle his fair share. Whether it’s in the bedroom, or the home, or sharing responsibilities he understands that a relationship is a two way street. A man with class will not try to make you do everything, and will listen when you need help. He’s there to give.

He Expects You to Give

What does this mean? Well, a man with class, while giving, will also expect you to give. He respects himself enough to know that you also need to pull your own weight in the relationship. A gentleman is not a doormat – and will not accept being treated like one.

He’ll Want You to Look Elegant

Many classless men will want to show off every portion of their girlfriend or wife’s body. But a man with class understands that encouraging the gawking of strangers is not the way to lead other men to respect you and him as well. Of course he will want you to look great – but he won’t be asking you to show your cleavage or wear the shortest skirt possible. But always be sexy! A man of class loves a woman who can toe the line without crossing it.

He’s Not Focusing All His Extra Time on Other Women

This is a big one. Ladies, it’s true. Our minds can wander to other women sometimes. But a classless man will let you know it – he’s either always talking about other women, or looking at them while you’re with him, or hanging pictures of other women on his walls. This is a big red flag that he’s classless. If he had class, he would respect you enough to not gawk at other women in your presence.  In other words – you’re the most important woman in the room to a gentleman.

All of us are works in progress, so please don’t expect even the man of your dreams to have every single trait listed above. We all fall short in some area, whether male or female, but he should at least have 11 out of 16 signs listed above.

If you look for these sweet 16 signs, not only will you be dating a man of class, you’ll narrow down the potential men of your dreams that much further, increasing your positive chances for finding and keeping the man of your dreams and building a quality, lifelong relationship.

Please see our article, “When to Sleep with the Man You’re Dating.”

No, race is no longer relevant, and if you think race is a significant issue you are living with primitive thinking. The reason race is no longer relevant is because now that many of us have dated across the racial divide, we can see for ourselves what the true differences are as opposed to what someone else has decided.

The issues that are very relevant can be as simple as, are you neat or is he messy? Does he like to watch sports and you do not? More complex issues matter more, such as if you want children and he does not; if you value family and friends and he does not; or are you well-traveled and he has no desire to travel outside of his state.

Let’s take a look and understand how and why race is no longer relevant. If allowed to be an issue, race can really be a hindrance not only to you finding and keeping the man of your dreams, but can be toxic to society and our positive evolution.

The race or color barrier was always more about fear than it ever was about love. Anything driven by fear will not give you the accurate and true thoughts of people. More people will choose to be left alone, and remain lonely, than have the courage to go against society in search of true love. Yet secretly behind the closed doors of their minds, if more people during our earlier times had had the courage to stand up, the results would have been no different than what you see today.

People in general are scared to go against the grain, but at the same time they are naturally curious. Now, thanks to many brave people from our past, we have a chance in this present day to look at the real issues between the many varied races of people on planet Earth and find true love, even if it is out your own back door. More options create more opportunities and possibilities to find and keep the man of your dreams.

The most important common feeling that can be witnessed in our society today, whether you are rich or poor, is that everyone seeks and desires to be loved.  If you observe closely, you can see everybody from two homeless people holding hands and kissing, to the very super rich doing the same thing. One is just doing it on Rodeo Drivein Beverly Hillsand the other is perhaps on skid row in downtown Los Angeles. Once we remove the fear factor, let’s see what really matters for the future man of your dreams. Whether you are curious about the topic or not, we want to present you with points that are true and relevant to you finding and keeping the man of your dreams.

Family and Friends

The fear of the unknown of family and friends can be your single greatest challenge and hindrance to finding and keeping the man of your dreams if he is of another race. It has nothing to do with whether you are physically or mentally compatible with the potential man of your dreams. It is unfortunate that due to many of these prejudices and pressures, many women have limited themselves to choosing from a very small, select group of men all based upon the often misplaced fears of others. When you limit yourself, you limit your thinking, and thus limit your true growth and development as a human being. Living without limitations and prejudices will put you that much closer to truly finding happiness and finding and keeping the man of your dreams. Why be lonely when you don’t have to be? Live and be loved always is our motto. A pet knows not color but loves you just the same.

You Are What You Eat

Food can be very different and vary from race to race. Although you may not have been exposed to many different cultural food groups, in America remedying this should be a quick and easy learning experience. The most important point of any relationship is that if one person loves the other you must find common ground to eat, and share in each other’s experiences. But drastic differences in diets can be very challenging. When one person eats meat and the other one does not, it will often make it a bit of a challenge to find a place to go for a bite to eat that suits both parties. With a little patience and planning even this obstacle can be overcome.

Educated or Not

He reads and you don’t. You read and he does not. Obviously the person who is reading is going to grow exponentially. If he reads to you or you read to him and then discuss what is being read, there is a chance to grow together. If not, he or she is going to outgrow the other, because one person is constantly improving himself or herself with knowledge, and exercising brain muscles. You can take two people from two different races and have them read the same set of books and they will share that much more in common. You can take two people from the same race and have one read a set of books, and the other not read any books at all. The people from the same race will eventually grow in different directions because they are not sharing the same knowledge and information.

It is no different from when a man or woman cheats. They grow apart because they are not participating in each other’s actions. The end result has nothing to do with race and everything to do with what you are reading or not reading for your growth and development as a human being. Remember, if you don’t use it you lose it.  How many times have you heard people who try to go back to school after a 10 year absence, say, “It’s so hard?” It’s hard because they have not been continuously exercising their brain muscles and using their minds in a studious way. If both partners don’t read, eventually the couple and their interests could grow in very different directions which would have absolutely nothing to do with race.

Spirituality

The same race of people can have several variations of beliefs. Many religious wars of our past were fought with people by the same race. The Pilgrims and the Quakers fled toNew World,America, in search of religious freedom. This was all happening within the same European race of people. True spiritual energy and enlightenment transcend race, color and creed. The differences in beliefs have nothing to do with race but the divisions within our own minds and belief systems, usually handed down, without much thought, from our grandparents to our parents to us. Many of us have accepted our perspective faiths without doing our own research and determining our own personal beliefs.

Communication

Ineffective communication can be the frustration and death of any relationship. It has absolutely nothing to do with race. It is good to observe and realize a person’s ability to communicate effectively or not before you enter into a relationship. These character traits whether positive or negative, will usually remained unchanged throughout the life of the relationship, because they are habits that have been developed over the course of one’s life. Many would not be able to change even if it meant saving their own lives, much less a relationship. Whether male or female, white, black, brown or yellow, some people are simply not good communicators and listeners.  Race matters not.

Others can be found to be excellent communicators and listeners and they don’t even speak the same language fluently. The most important point is to know yourself and what you can live with and bear because the situation is not going to change without taking drastic measures. It is up to each individual and has nothing to do with race but only one’s choices.

Sexual Energy

Are you horny and he is not?  Some women are horny all the time and others are very iffy and off and on about their sexual energy. A female friend of mine thought that every woman was into sex but recently found out that this was quite not the case. Unless he unfortunately has a penis that is dysfunctional, we can guarantee you that there is a 98% chance that the man of your dreams is not interested in the woman who is iffy when it comes to sex.

The man of your dreams does not want to guess if he is having sex with his woman that night. The only time you should not be giving it up it, is during your menstrual cycle. If you are too tired to spark sexual activity, out of the thoughtfulness and goodness of your heart, you should read our article: The 7 Different Positions to Sleep in That Will Excite the Man of Your Dreams.  Desired sexual energy and whether you are a match have absolutely nothing to do with race, but rather with one’s own personal chemistry.

Culture: City Girl, Country Boy

The culture of a people can be so different that their behavior can almost seems rude to an observer who is not from their culture or used to their everyday way of life. In actuality it is just how they act on a daily basis. It is how they were raised by their parents on the farm or surrounding communities. It does not make it wrong; it just makes it different from what you may be used to.

Some people say, “Hi,” and normally greet strangers with a smile. Others do not smile or even make eye contact with strangers. These can be major issues when you do not know better. They have little to do with race and more to do with the cultural and geographical locations in which a person was raised. These differences can be so drastic that if they go unrecognized they can cause major rifts and the biggest misunderstandings, not only in your relationship, but with your immediate family, and society at large.

Finances and Money Management

Rich or poor, money management can be a huge issue that has nothing or little to do with race. Do you like to spend money all the time? Does he? Either you do or don’t. Do you like to invest in or buy products which you can then sell and make money? If so, you have more of an investment mentality as opposed to a consumer mentality. Money has no color or loyalty. It is simply a matter of choice – who’s choice? It’s your choice. Money comes and goes through everyone’s hands. Your spending habits have nothing to do with race, depending more perhaps on what you have seen on local TV, in magazines, or on internet advertisements.

It is true that some people may have access to large amounts of wealth. As a consequence they may naturally spend more because they have more. All things being equal, whether you like to shop and spend money has nothing to do with whether you are white, red, brown, black or yellow. Money management and how you are classified, whether rich, poor, or middle class, are more identifiers of financial status than what race you are from. These days there are some pretty rich people in every race around the world.

Why are some women thrifty while others are not?  The answer has nothing to do with color or race. It is simply a matter of choice.  So now that you know that race is truly not an issue, open your heart and mind and go find the man of your dreams.

-Relationship coach Zack S.

The only way you will get this information out of a man is if you have seriously hurt his ego or made him extremely mad.

Despite what one may think, a man will become uninterested for this very reason. He will never tell you because he doesn’t want to hurt your feelings. How do you know you if a man likes your Vagina? How do you know he does not?

Just because you have a vagina doesn’t mean it’s good, agreeable or likeable to the man you are seeing. Contrary popular beliefs, women who are skinny have deeper vaginas than women who have big butts. It’s funny because you would think that it’s the other way around, the women with the big butts are the women with the deep canals, but in all actuality the women who are skinny have the deeper canals.

So a lot of men chase the women with the big butts. Perhaps it’s because there’s less ground to cover. There is a bottom. If a man can’t find the bottom of the canal, then that’s a bit of a problem and makes the experience uninviting. He will gladly refer you to the guy who is more suited to go deeper.
“Hey Charlie, I met this woman. She’s really deep, I want you to meet her.”
Have you ever heard a woman say? “This is not going to work.” It’s either one of two reasons: It’s either too big or too small. Have you ever heard a man say? “This is not going to work.” Even though we may realize at the point of insertion and one stroke later that, “this is not going to work”. We are going to still try immediate solutions by adjusting the angles or positioning, and if all else fails its dildo time. And consequently you’ll never hear us say, “It’s not going to work.” Instead, you’ll just notice that we’ll disappear. The key here is we are not going to stop in the middle of what we are doing. We can’t stop, because our penises are on full blast, because our penises are in full control at this point, and we are the observers. We ourselves are having a conversation with our penis, saying, “Man you know this isn’t going to work. “Penis says, “Shut up and sit down!” And afterwards when we regain control of our penises again, we will come to the same conclusion and our penises will agree, “This is not going to work.” Usually, it’s not going to work because the vagina is too big or has a bad smell. These are the main reasons that come to mind, too big, too wide, too loose, no bottom. It’s like sticking your penis in the middle of a Big Gulp! You never feel the sides or the bottom of the cup. It’s like open space. A vagina that’s too small is usually OK and can be worked out on our behalf, but the woman may not like it at first or be able to deal with the initial pain to open her up to the diameter and depth needed. Usually, after a few sessions, women seem to adjust pretty quickly.

As we observe in amazement, it will almost be like there was never an issue of her being too small. That’s the power of the vagina. A man can never truly out do or out pump a well lubricated vagina, impossible, as a woman can never control a man’s penis. In fact, a man can’t even control his own penis. A penis has a mind of its own at a certain point in time. Usually from just prior to insertion, the penis is in full control and the man is observing. Contrary to what men think, in the end the vagina always wins. It’s elastic.

-Relationship Coach Blaise S.

Body language reveals our true feelings, and your relationship partner has no trouble with picking up on this physical queue. But what does your body language say while you are sleep? Are there sleeping positions that will excite the man of your dreams? In sleep, we are our most honest, vulnerable selves and certain sleep positions can immediately evoke sensual thoughts and pleasures. Let’s take a look at seven positions that are sure to have your man wanting nothing more than to be between the sheets with you!

7) Eye See You: This position occurs when you and your man face each other, seemingly gazing into each others’ eyes, even in sleep. This position allows for the two of you to touch all or some of the front of each other’s bodies. You have access to touch each other with your feet, legs, knees, torso and chest. This position is enjoyed by men because they can easily keep an eye on you, making sure that everything remains alright through your sleep.

6) Cuddly-Wuddly: In this position your man lays on his back facing up, and your head is rested on his chest or shoulder. This cuddle position is very intimate, allowing him the option to place his arms around you in a protective manner. Men are turned on by the fact that the two of you are so close, and that you feel comfortable enough to nestle in his arms and allow him to protect you.

5) Backwards Bear: In this position you and your man sleep side-by-side, each curled up with each other in the fetal position. You have your man fully cupped around the back of his body. This position excites men because everything touches; your chest to his back, your legs to his legs and your arms wrapped around him. This also gives you the chance to hug him with all of your might…it tickles!

4) Forward Bear: In a reversal of positions Forward Bear switches the roles of the man and woman. This time it is the man that is fully cupped around the back of your body. This position is very steamy because in most cases, his car is parked right onto your driveway! This position is not only intimately enticing, but it also allows your man to have a sense of security knowing that he has you protected in his arms.

3) Twister Snore: Although not particularly easy to pull off, this position is when both you and your man lay interconnected. You and your man completely wrap yourselves around one another with legs and arms. This sleeping position is truly enjoyable because it adds a very intimate social aspect. You and your man get to bond face to face, literally, while cuddling the night through.

2) Pillow Fluffy: In this position, you lay on your back facing up and your man rests his head onto your chest. Men love this sleeping position and swear that your pair or natural pillows are far more comfortable than any tempur-pedic!

1) All Those Bright Lights: In this position you are turned adjacent to him, creating the shape of a T laying on its side, and your head is on his belly. This allows him to rub your head, run his fingers through your hair and fantasize what would happen if your face dropped just a couple more inches south, towards an area of his body that he has coined, Vegas. And as they say, what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas!

-Relationship Coach James T.

Here are the dos and don’ts of speaking to the man of your dreams.

To all ladies, especially those of you who never had a class on speaking to the man of your dreams or perhaps never had a positive male role model while growing up, please listen carefully: Understanding how to speak to the MOYD will make or break your relationship. It will be the difference from your man always complimenting you to the extreme of constantly insulting you. Your goal should be to get all the compliments you can. You will need them for your relationship’s rainy days.

Not knowing how to talk to the man of your dreams, especially in critical moments of high tension, will destroy the foundation of your relationship without you knowing it. This is how men think. Little may be said, but your comments will be duly noted.

On shows like “Jerry Springer” or “The Maury Povich Show,” women display the absolutely wrong way to communicate with the men, whether of their dreams, or men they are having problems with. Notice how the women bob their heads, constantly running their mouth without listening. They constantly speak over their men pointing fingers in their faces. This is exactly what you do not want to do. It is not only disrespectful to your man but is clearly disrespectful to yourself. It makes you look like a stone cold fool. (Mathew 15:17-20)

Believe that every man who is watching with any common sense may find you quite amusing.  He may find also you physically attractive, but he’ll trust his subconscious which is saying, “I would never want a woman who runs her mouth like that in my life.”

No man desires or seeks a woman who cannot control her tongue. (1Peter 3:10) (James 3:5-8)  It is the ultimate disrespect and by the end of the day, you will either find yourself alone or your man will find refuge with another woman. The best response is to learn what is acceptable and not acceptable when speaking to the MOYD. Mastering this skill alone will put you so far ahead of all those unhappy women on “Jerry Springer” and “The Maury Povich Show” that their men will be trying to find you.

Some of the don’ts are listed below:

1. Talking over a man
2. Using profanity
3. Not knowing when to stop talking; no self control
4. Not truly listening, but always wanting to be heard
5. Raising your voice, yelling, screaming

(1 Peter 3:1)

The scriptures seem to imply that God made man the head of women, mainly because women were easily deceived by their extreme emotional states. (1 Timothy 2:9-15) According to “The Lucifer Effect” by Phillip Zambardo, women have been found to have a stunning 100 percent blind obedience to authority. You do not have to agree but this ancient wisdom will work greatly in your favor with the MOYD. If you really want to separate yourself and soar above your competition, heed the wisdom given here, and you will win over the MOYD.

Being a great wife does not start when you get married. It starts in your mind now. Exterior beauty will only attract a man but it is inner beauty that will keep him in love with only you. Understanding how to speak to a man does not make you a weak woman. It makes you a woman who is using divine wisdom to keep her man and create a beautiful life and family. Isn’t that what you desire?

In modern day society sometimes a woman must lead the family and a man will better learn by her good example then he will even learn by listening to a mouthy woman. It is better to be silent if you have nothing positive to say rather than dig a hole that keeps getting deeper, destroying the foundations of your relationship.

Finding a good man is difficult. Find a great man who is honest and upfront is extremely difficult, so when you do find him never get too comfortable with a loose tongue, but guard your tongue and love and respect your man with all your heart. He in turn will cherish and respect you forever. Why? Because you are rare and special, and a breed of the past. You’re also the answer to making a relationship last. Lead by your example.

-Relationship Coach: Josh Cole

Well let’s see.  Rate yourself on a scale of 1 through 5, with 5 being the top score!

Contrary to popular belief, all men are not interested in getting their penises sucked. Only about 98% of the male population is interested.

If you don’t like doing it, it leaves you in the position of finding the 2% of men who do not care anything about it. This is not a favorable position to be in. The odds are exceedingly against you. But keep in mind that it’s always better to know what to do and not need it, than need it and not know what to do. Who knows? One day it may grow on you. (Pun intended.) Now if you’re ready to get your hands dirty, continue to read on.

You have to go at it like a gangster. Put your game face on. It’s like anything else: If you’re going to do something, you have to do it right. You have to give it 110%. You can’t go in there like a baby. Grab the microphone! You cannot be afraid to touch it. You can’t put a rubber on it and go in there with gloves and a mask on. Safe sex is always a legitimate concern, so use your own discretion

You cannot go in there half-assed. If you are not going to do it right, it is best you just tell him you cannot do it at all. Think of yourself as Madonna. Pretend you are about to perform a solo in front of thousands. Your goal is to make his eyes roll up into the back of his head. Once you’ve reached this point, know that you have achieved perfection. You can feel totally satisfied.  You can confidently say to yourself, “I’ve got him now!”

Disclaimer: Remember there are no teeth in sucking a penis…ever. If you leave teeth marks on a man’s penis, you have violated the penis sucking code. Use no teeth at all costs. OUCH!

Once you have done your job, and he tries to get you to back off him, then let it rip. Yell out like a mad woman, “High Ho Silver Yee Haw!” The whole point is that although you have just achieved perfection, be a beast! Act as if you are going to rip his proverbial microphone off.  Now with that look in your eye, let the real games begin. He will be begging for mercy and you will show no mercy. It’s almost as if you are going to suck everything in it out. He could well cry, “STOP!”  I know it may sound a little bit cruel but in the end he will love you for it once you bring him right back to the next climax.

Your reward: Once he regains himself, he is going to turn around and give you that energy right back.  A man, who is in tune, wants to give you the same pleasure.  You will have a sex session for the ages.

The science of what you have now done is to create so much passion that the energy must go somewhere.  In this case, it will go from him, right back up into you! This is the formula.  Most women do not know this because they act too timidly, too scared, and they lie, boring while wanting passion not knowing how to create it. You have to remember: men have a competitive nature. Sometimes you must challenge that nature in a positive way. When you challenge it in a positive way you create passion. No other woman will be able to compete with you unless she knows what you know. Unless she is willing to do what you do for your man, she will not be able to compete and create this same energy over and over. This is about recreating this energy over and over.

The good thing for you is that we know that most people are lazy and unwilling to do the work, but only want the reward. 90% of the population lies dormant supported by 10% of the people that are willing to go the extra mile. If you know this, all you have to be is be a little bit above average. We’re giving you the full spectrum. You can choose where you want to fall in the equation because we’re telling you how to go from zero to sixty. What you decide to do is up to you. We’re giving you all of the information. Some may not be able to give 110%.  Maybe their very best is 80%, but it’s what you do with that 80% that matters the most. It’s all about giving your best effort. Ladies, do I need to say anymore?

Quick Tips

Ladies if you are still confused about how to suck a penis, it is recommended that you go to your neighborhood market and purchase a 6 pack of Big Sticks. These popsicles are usually yellow and red and sometimes pink. The colors are very pleasing to the eye and shaped much like an erect penis. Think about it being hot a summer day and you must keep the Big Stick from dripping on to your hands. You must stop it from dripping on your hands. That means that if the juice has melted and dripped to the bottom, you must go to the bottom of it and lick it to prevent it from dripping on your hands. If the juice drips on to your hands, then you have failed the initial penis sucking test. So at all costs, do not let the juice drip on to your hands. Once you have stopped the juice from dripping on to your hands, then go back to the top and suck it like a normal Popsicle. When it starts melting again, you have to run back to the bottom to make sure it doesn’t drip on to your hands. Remember: it’s constantly melting, so you have to be aware of the top and the bottom as in sucking a penis. Just repeat this process over and over again and you will be well on your way. You will be ready to practice on a real penis and get into the game.

Disclaimer

Do not play with this energy unless you want this man to really love you. In the case it is not love, he could potentially stalk you. If you play with this intensity of energy, a man could potentially stalk you because you will be one in a million who knows what is truly inside the minds of men.

-Relationship Coach Simon S.

It’s one call that could have lifelong implications for the Man of Your Dreams.

If your life is truly in danger, to the point where you have been injured requiring hospitalization, the answer is yes. If you had a serious fight with your man and your feelings were hurt more than you were physically, you are reacting on emotion and just want to hurt him by getting the police involved. You would be better off to seek professional counseling due to the simple fact that 911 does not address the problem.  Law enforcement punishes individuals which does not solve the underlying problem.  I would recommend pausing for a moment to consider the potential consequences.

Any man with half a brain will be very cautious to date you upon hearing how you handled your previous relationship by calling 911 on your man. Calling 911 leaves no room for error in a future relationship.  It’s not because you did not have a legitimate reason, but because you have chosen to call a 3^rd party into your relationship to solve your problems. This 3^rd party cares the least about your family.  Locking people away does not solve problems.  People in jail typically spend their time sleeping which is why most return to jail for the same crimes committed in their past, not a good image for the Man of Your Dreams.

The police couldn’t care less about you and your feelings. If you’re not careful both of you could end up going to jail, a double K.O. You’d be dealing with a lot more unnecessary drama, fines, fees, loss of time and energy, and still have the same problem. These additional frustrations will not help your relationship heal and improve, but do exactly the opposite.

For most men, one call to the police will rip away any chance of a future relationship with you. It is an event he will never forget. For men of some races who have been historically and unjustly treated by the police, your actions will be considered the eighth of the seven deadly sins. As a result he will never ever truly trust you or your friends who may have had a hand in influencing you.  Even if he apologizes and takes responsibility for his actions, rebuilding his trust in you will be like climbing uphill with a sack of bricks on your back.  If you have any love for this man or have children with him, think very long and hard about the consequences.

Sexual Desire

Your man may desire to sleep with you due to nostalgia, but one flashback of your calling 911 will quickly blot out fond memories. Even if he does sleep with you again, it will more than likely never be with the same passion and intensity. Being confronted and arrested by the police is a very traumatic experience. Some men may sleep with you again intending vengeful payback. For the most part that image and experience of you calling 911 and involving the police will always playback over and over again in your man’s mind.

Calling 911 is as bad as a woman cheating on a man with his bestfriend since kindergarten. Both will always be stored in his internal memory banks forever.

Going To Jail

More than likely the results of a 911 call will land your man or even both of you in jail, a double K.O.  Police tend to arrest first, and then ask questions later. The consequences of your man going to jail will create a loss of income if he is employed. It could potentially jeopardize his employment. Jail is a very rough place where he could be hurt, raped or killed. There is an old saying, “Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned.”

Only true love for another could create this level of scorn. Rest assured one evil act is not solved by a corresponding act of evil. You may get temporary satisfaction, but if you do not truly understand what mistakes created the problems in the relationship and take responsibility for your 50 percent contribution, you will be setting yourself up for a repeat in the same or next relationship.

Creating a Record

Going to jail creates a record for your man or child’s father. Obtaining a record ultimately means he could lose his job. Chances for advancement and future employment opportunities, no matter how qualified he is, will be greatly diminished. In a very competitive job market he will become less marketable, which means he will make less money. In the long run, he will have less money to contribute to future and existing children. You really have to ask yourself if this is what you truly intend to happen when you called 911. Remember that this could happen to both of you.  It depends on the police officers on duty.  Did you really intend that a mistake or two affect the rest of his life?

Being Honest with Yourself

Did you even take time to consider how your actions might have contributed to the results? Were you dishonest? Were you cheating? Men are not made of steel. Believe it or not they have emotions that can sometimes get out of whack just like a woman’s.  Are you perfect and have never made any mistakes that could have potentially contributed to the outcome?  We understand that there are two sides to every story. Often one or both sides is misunderstood. There are some women saints out there right along with you and Mother Teresa. But Mother Teresa was a virgin. She never saw dick, and dick can make you do some crazy things.

Try to Find Solutions Before You Call the Police

Do you truly understand what love is, not TV or movie love?  Love endures through good and bad times. Love is patient and suffers through trials and tribulations. Love understands that relationships are not always going to be perfect like a Disney Movie. How you choose to solve your relationship problems is the key to its longevity and future success or demise. Calling 911 should be saved as an absolute last resort. At some point bringing additional third parties such as family and friends into your relationship can involve more people, more drama, and fewer positive solutions.  A family member’s emotions and involvement can easily raise the bar from an intense situation to a very intense situation. It is imperative that you check your own emotional state and seek proper help and guidance from an unemotional an unbiased source. How to Get the Man of Your Dreams offers coaching.

 Recognize the Signs Early On

Do not procrastinate when you see problems brewing. Address all problems immediately. Ignoring problems in a relationship is a recipe for a disaster. If you ask your man 3 times to complete a task, he agrees and then you later see no improvement, this is a clear sign of a communication problem. Seek help immediately from a fair and unbiased source. Recognize the signs of a troubled relationship or communications failure. Taking immediate action will help to prevent future blow ups in your relationship. In fact put it on your calendar as one of the things you should do every four months like changing your oil, a relationship check up!

It is most important that when considering whether you should call 911 on your man, to think of  the consequences of just one phone call. In an attempt to hurt the other person you very well could hurt yourself, children, and family members as well as him. Is this what you intend to accomplish? Calling 911 is a major decision. A major decision should never be made when you are upset or angry.

-Relationship Coach Jeff J.

Subtitle: Women who abuse their power to give future baby mama’s a bad name.

There is nothing worse in this world than a mother who uses the children against the father in a relationship.  If you are going to rank sins against men in this world, this act would be right up there with the biblical Eve’s sin committed in the Garden of Eden against God.  It would be number one in 99.9% of men who are committed father’s and those who desire to be fathers, representing a quality most women desire.  In fact, this is a quality you would hope that the future man of your dreams possesses.  A man with this quality is a man that will more than likely do his best to take care of you and your children.

Logic of Man

Following the logical thinking of men, a woman using the kids lake pawns on a chess board will be seen as the most selfish and worse of all actions a woman can commit against a man.  It truly exposes here unbalanced emotional state of mind.  Any potential future man of her dreams will clearly see it as a representation of what she could potentially do to him if her behavior goes uncorrected.  Her actions are not in the best interest of the children, but are purely selfish with malicious intent.  The consequences are no man in his right mind will truly desire to be with a woman with this previous track record beyond a sexual encounter and eventually your intentional denial of the baby’s father time can take a toll on your new found relationship.  The new man of your dreams may eventually become concerned an irritated by your behavior especially if found to be later without probable cause.

Legislation should be enacted

Stiff laws should be enacted against women who abuse their motherly privileges.  It truly should be a crime for women who use the system to steal time from a father and their children’s right to spend time with them.  It is a crime against nature and against all women who previously fought for equal rights.  Their behavior discourages, good men who are responsible loving fathers ,  who want to spend time and be in their children’s lives.

Overbearing Power and Authority

It really makes a man wonder and revaluate in his mind whether a woman having too much power an authority over a man goes against the laws of nature itself?  It seems that every time a woman is put in a position of power and authority, police, detention officer, district attorney, judge, CEO, etc., she abuses the privileges granted by being more cruel than her male counterparts in the same positions.  Now that women have gotten a taste of the power, many abuse it an act no better than the slave mentalities of their predecessors who originally denied them equals rights.  Is it that hard for people to be honest, reasonable and fair?  Is it that hard to treat a man like you would want to be treated yourself?  What if he had the power to deny you the rights to see your children was more in his favor? How would you feel?

Common Sense

It takes two people to make a child and nature intended for the same two people to raise them.   Just because some authority figure tells you can jump off a two story building and survive, would you do it?  Please use the same common sense in raising your children or cast them into perpetual confusion.  We are assuming that you would not jump off a ten story building without a parachute because the results would really hurt to say the least.  If you knew denying your children time to be with their father would result in hurting them, would you do it?  A mother can never give a child the love and protection that a father provides a child, whether she understands his role or not.  If is often the little things that father does in the middle of the night, like making sure the house is safe and secure, kids are warm and tucked in their beds that often go unnoticed.  Daddy comes with a big kiss in the middle of the night, that often goes unnoticed again because everybody is asleep.  Great father’s are always alert even while they sleep, always watching and protecting.  When there is a security issue, it is he who will be the first line of defense and the first to answer the call.  He will give his life to defend his family.   In reverse a father can never give a child the love that a mother provides because he is a man, so those who are parents cut the crap and put the well being of the children first.

Absentee Father or Father Figure

It has been noted that women who grew up without a father/father figure or even with a good relationship with their father’s lack the common knowledge and trust to understand just how important a father’s role is in creating balanced thinking within themselves.  Trusting a man to lead the relationship is often difficult because these women have never seen positive stable examples.  Many have missed the experience of love and protection that a father normally provides only to be replaced by the selfish desires of the mother for the attention of men.  The errors of the mother are now past to the daughter who often becomes innocent prey to unsuspecting men.  Consequently in on fatal swoop, the mother has now destroyed the child’s foundation of trust that a loving father could have provided as well as the trust and protection that should have been provided by the mother.  Where does it leave the child? All are a result of the mother’s failure to understand the nature of a number of men in our modern day society.  A father would be able to better prepare his daughter for the hidden traps placed by deceiving men.  He would recognize and point out their tricks.  In fact, jus the fact that the man you are dating knows you have a caring and loving father will help protect you from the games men play.  A man that is not trying to do you right will not want to meet your father.  “I’ll pass on this one”.  A father is child’s ultimate protector and source of strength.

Accepting Responsibility

Ladies no matter how much you praise yourselves, you will ultimately be held responsible for the outcome of your decisions good or bad.  I know you believe it’s all his fault and your perfect and right.  Please consider, that as long as you are getting dick, you will never be perfect.  Due to the fact that children’s lives and general well being are at risk, you must reach beyond being honest with yourself and be the bigger person and accept responsibility for your part in the relationship’s failure.  No matter how you slice the pie, it takes two people to argue, fuss, fight and even break up.  No matter how much you think he is wrong and you are right, that is your opinion.  Be the bigger person and leave the kids out of the equation looking out for their well being first.

Role Confusion

The main problem in our modern society is that women no longer desire to follow and allow men to lead.  This point in itself creates a major conflict and role confusion.  Someone has to be head of the family; even the IRS knows there cannot be two heads of household.    This is where your spiritual beliefs may come in and should be clarified preferably before you start the relationship.

Court Costs

The potential attorney and court costs and time spent running back and forth to the courthouse will eventually way heavily on yourself and any new relationship.  You will no longer be able to hide behind your side the story only.   All your dirty laundry will be exposed and documented in court for anybody to see.  Years later your children will be able to go pull the court files if they desire to really know what happen.  The saddest part of all is that some father’s do not have the resources to fight for their rights.  What’ even worse for those dads who do have the means to protect their interest is now the kids have to suffer through bitter fighting of two parents they love?  Why?  Because one parent is being unreasonable and feels that he or she is the supreme authority over the children they both created.  The destruction lies in the fact that neither realizes that are both imperfect, and many fail to see the path of destruction that lies on the road ahead.  All the money you are about spend on attorneys and court costs  could have been easily saved for the children’s future education.  The court’s tend to favor mother’s over father’s, and women who use children because they have the upper hand are actually abusing and stealing valuable time from the children and their father.

If you fit the despicable mom description and find yourself guilty of many of the acts listed, realize your errors, confess your sins, get sprinkled by holy water, go steal some from the nearest Catholic Church, in fact bring a cup, and change your attitude for you and your children’s sake.  Call your baby dad and apologize and ask his forgiveness.  Be the bigger person.  You will be surprised that most of the times all men really want to hear is a sincere apology.  Next, go kiss your kids and apologize and explain the mistakes you made and ask their forgiveness.   Most importantly remember, it’s never too late to make changes to improve your life and those around you.  Remember life is short, value each moment and respect each other’s time to be with the children.

-Relationship Coach Darius J.