How Fatigue Can Unknowingly Destroy Your Relationship

Life is fast and it gets tiring. Today, more than ever, people are on the run constantly. We want everything now, now, now and tomorrow isn’t good enough. Even answers to your most complex dating or relationship issues can be had in less than 60 minutes with our Virtual Coaching service. (My, how times have changed!) With all the modes of communication available at our fingertips, the quest to have our desires met immediately has only gotten to be more of an odyssey. All that hustle and bustle logically creates a huge fatigue factor at the end of the day.

Fatigue can be a killer of any budding relationship. You’ll be asking yourself what, where, why, how, and whodunit. Dealing with it should be a major priority if you are looking to find and keep the man of your dreams. In the 21st century, it is important to stop and recharge your batteries in order to be able to give over to someone else what is left of you after a typical day. “Me time” has been lost in the 2000’s and that tends to doom any semblance of “us time”.

Let’s face it, who wants to date someone who is exhausted all the time? No one, that’s who. Is there anything worse than going out to dinner with someone who is so wound up from their day that they either stay silent while you try and direct a conversation, or are so tired they just don’t pay attention at all? Not really. Not being engaged, especially at the beginning of a relationship, sends a horrific message, which can be interpreted as the person having no interest in their date.

In days of yore, it was typically the man who would come home with nothing left to offer his mate, but today women are working just as hard, if not harder, and are now the ones more apt to jump in the bath, grab a glass of wine and just recline into their own minds, leaving little to offer their mate. That is just not acceptable in a relationship. It’s a two way street, and remaining cognizant of that fact could help cement a long-lasting, fulfilling partnership.

Fatigue can negatively affect many aspects of a relationship. The obvious are the physical limitations caused by being too tired. It’s a little hard to get it on when you can’t even get off the couch. But, perhaps even more insidious is the effect it has on communication. When your mind is tired, messages can get misconstrued or even lost completely. You are less likely to deal with big issues, opting instead to repress whatever topics may need discussing. That is never good and can lead a relationship right off a cliff.

The thing both men and women need to remember is they do ultimately have control over their time, but also have to realize that unless they exercise that control, there will never be an ideal situation in which to foster a healthy and happy relationship.

The first thing anyone should do is turn off all the electronics at the end of the day. Unless you are a heart surgeon on call during a coronary epidemic, the President of a country with superpower status, or a hostage negotiator, there is no reason to be connected to work during the off hours. This goes for everybody. Turning everything off means you are forced to just “be”. It’s much easier to relax without electronic distractions. So ditch the Blackberry or iPhone in the desk drawer when you get home and also limit your Facebooking and Twittering to one status line: “taking a break, be back tomorrow”.

Then you need to put aside time for yourself to recharge. Learn how much it takes for you to do that. For some, a catnap of twenty minutes can refresh; for another, eight hours, while for others it takes longer. Do whatever you have to do to bring your mind back to better than functioning status. Even if it seems to your mate that you are neglecting them, explain it is better for the relationship in the long run. Make him understand if you are not at your best, you cannot be your best. Suggest to him that he do the same thing.

Then make sure to set aside time to relax as a couple as well. You don’t always have to rock climb, scuba dive or run marathons together to enjoy each other’s company. Plan some relaxing time together. In fact, this could be the solution for some couples. Some people may like to recharge alone and some may like to do it together. Either is great, just so long as you do it and make a routine out of relaxing.

Always keep in mind this is a two way street. If your man is the one harboring the fatigue, try your best to get him to understand you want the refreshed version of his personality, not the tossed away remnants of a far too busy workday. Do what you have to do to help him chill out.

Fatigue can be a killer to any relationship, but out of all the factors that can doom a partnership, it is one of the easiest to control. Just always be aware of your level of fatigue as well as his, and jump in with the solutions as soon as possible.