But then you wait a few days. He’s not calling. So you wait a few more days. Still no call from him.
So what’s the deal? You have to be asking, “Why didn’t he call”?
Well, there are several reasons why he hasn’t called. We’ll go over them, but first, you need to understand the way a man’s mind works. Men can be logical to a fault. And, it’s that very logical way of thinking that’ll get him to bed you and not call.
When a man meets a woman, she falls into one of three categories as far as intimacy is concerned. She can either become a friend, someone we would date seriously, or, that girl that we get into the bedroom and never call again. Our decision making process on this matter is totally based on your actions. Yes, your actions.
We watch to see how you interact with us, and we act accordingly. Men are very reactionary in that way. You get from us what we perceive to receive from you. If you act with a high degree of respect for yourself, then we have no choice but to respect you. If you act less than respectful to yourself, then we tend to treat you accordingly.
Now, what do we mean when we say “respecting yourself”? Have you ever watched a National Geographic program? Have you ever seen how the males of any particular species act towards a female of that species? The male works to get the female’s attention. Why? Because she’s not going to just get with any male. He has to prove his worth to her. This is how you need to be in your lives. You have what the men want, but you have to make them work for it. The harder they work, the more they have to respect you. But don’t forget that the good men have what you want, too – create balance.
You should have these potential suitors proving to you that they’re worth your time. When a man is feeling you, he’s going to try to prove it. He’s going to do the things you need him to do. He’s going to look out for you. He’ll, in essence, make your needs and wants more important than his own. Once again, a man’s actions in this area are relative. So, one man will try to prove his worth to you one way, while another may try a different approach. And just like the female peacock, it’s up to you to make the educated decision as far as who you’d want to be with (with our assistance, of course). At least…this is how it should be.
Too many times, the natural order of things is rather, well, twisted. Too many times, the wrong men get chased. A woman will throw herself at him because he talks a good game. He may even do a few things to catch her, but once he gets what he wants, he has no need for her any longer. The problem is, she bought what he was selling a little too soon, without checking his inner self. She didn’t make the man prove that he had a connection to her, or failed to find this connection before she decided to sleep with him.
Remember, men think very logically. Players have figured out how to appear to be what you want. They’ll be what you need until they get what they want. If a man sleeps with you and doesn’t call back, it’s usually because he doesn’t think you’re somebody he could deal with seriously… because of how YOU acted with him. Now, we’re in no way blaming a woman for being played, but we are saying that you need to be careful with whom you deal with, how you deal with them, and how you present yourself.
Make men respect you by not jumping at every piece of bait thrown at you. Build their interest in you and make them show you that they care, and that they have your best interest at heart. Make them work on your time clock instead of you punching in to theirs. You should feel totally comfortable with bedding him and be truly interested in him and not the free meal or drink. You should only develop this comfort after he’s put forth the effort to make his intentions known. And, you all know what those are. Taking you to dinner and a movie once isn’t enough proof.
Essentially, the more a man works to get close to you, the more he’ll respect you. But don’t go overboard – as a general rule, don’t require him to do any more than you’d be willing to do yourself. Don’t forget that respect is a two way street. If you are truly into him, don’t be afraid to share those feelings.
He’s just not that into you – You’ve heard this before, and have probably read dozens of articles about how a man just might not be digging a certain something about “you”. It may have been bad performance in bed or a lack of chemistry. Maybe he didn’t like your smell, or how you looked with no makeup. You could live too far, or neither of you have your own place and he just used his friend’s place for the evening. Whatever the case may be, he just isn’t into you, and won’t call because he wants to move on. A man will sleep with a woman once against his better judgment then ask himself later, “Why did I do that?” When it comes to sex, we do things without thinking a lot of the time. We know, it sucks.
He doesn’t want a relationship, and doesn’t want to lead you on – Despite what women may tell us, men don’t believe it when you say ‘it can be just sex’. Sure, it can be. But to be honest, we will never trust those words. Ever. And so if he’s slept with you and hasn’t called, he might just not want to attach any strings to you – even a friendship string. Because calling you means acknowledging the possibility that there could be something more down the line. Even if you have no intentions of having a relationship, he doesn’t want to risk it. Some men prefer bachelorhood to relationships. Don’t take this personally. Usually they come around, but if he’s not calling, he may just want to keep playing the field, and he doesn’t want to have you waiting on the bleachers.
He has a girlfriend or a wife – This one happens often, although it’s not often said. If he doesn’t call, he may have another woman that he doesn’t want you to know about. You may have just been the fun he was looking for in order to escape his relationship – but for all intents and purposes, he’s still going to stay with her and doesn’t want any of the drama associated with keeping in touch with you. And if he does have a girlfriend, becoming friends or something more with you increases the odds that he will be caught.
He just wanted to sleep with you – Simple as that: he just wanted to sleep with you. Nothing more. He didn’t want to get to know you, or have coffee, or chat or go on a date. He was singularly motivated to get you into the bedroom. And once that feat was accomplished, he’s going to move on.
You were available – Similar to ‘he’s just not that into you’, but here it’s a little more about being in the right place at the right time. He never thought of you in a sexual sense before, and for whatever reasons – maybe alcohol, or you were just at the same party – you were there that night and he wanted to hook up. Your availability, however, doesn’t mean that he wants you to be available all the time, or that he was thinking about anything other than ‘she was there’. If you present him with an opportunity to sleep with him, he will take it. But he will then go back to thinking of you as just another woman, not the woman of his dreams.
Seems very straightforward, doesn’t it? Well, it is. Even the biggest player on the field will have to respect you if you respect yourself. Remember, it’s about him proving to you that he’s worth your time.